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Entertaining, Sassy, Creative, Deep, Passionate. Artistic, Tender, Opinionated. Joyful, Stubborn, Grateful, Humble.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Just for today....
Drew 3 cards from The Goddess Tarot, one more flipped out. Like, don't forget me! What do I see? Judgement, 4 of Swords, Strength, and the latest addition, the 5 of Pentacles.
'You may be making decisions that feel right, stop and rest. Being strong, pushing, forcing, just doesn't work. Relax. I can see this as a power stuggle, and try harder. Or just enjoy the ice/snow and wait....'
The cards have a way of cutting to the core of the question. My question is why nothing seems to be coming together, with redoing my bedroom. I am changing the colors, the furniture. Everything. First, can't get rid of the furniture...then what I get, isn't what I really want. The paint still sits in the paintcan, the ladder I borrowed isn't here yet. I have a miserable cold and am really whiney today. So, stop. It'll all get done and I shall love it. In time....

Monday, January 14, 2008



The Fool. Using Corrine Kenners book, 'Tarot Journaling', I am on page 100. The writing prompt I am using is....The road not taken.
What was a choice, I opted not to take, that would have been a crucial turning point in my life. If I could turn back time....would I make the same choice? I drew one card to journal on tonight. The Fool. Maybe I was the Fool. Maybe it worked out just the way it was meant to be.
I had graduated from high school, was engaged to the cutest boy, Johnny. I was going to Kansas City to stay with my mother. Johnny was working in St. Louis at Grayhound. We had planned an April wedding, this was May. I already had the dresses designed, the colors, the flowers, my dream wedding. While at my Mothers, she comments that I could go to LA, my grandmother Evelyn lived there. She was an International Fabric Consultant. Worked for businesses that supplied fabrics to all the designing houses. I could stay with her, go to Design School, be the next Vera Wang. My dream come true. What choice do I pick? I came from a very broken home, Johnny was my highschool sweetheart. He was shy, quiet, funny. And had a huge family that rivaled the Waltons. I wanted so much to be part of that family. I wanted baby's, and home of my very own, and this man to share it with. And I wanted Johnny to want to marry me. He seemed on the edge about it all...most men are. April seemed a safe distance away...marriage sounded so final.
I stay in Kansas City for a month, he missed me dearly. One night he said, come home and we will get married next week. Married, like in his mom's living room, with about 4 people there. A tiny cake, a simple white dress I had worn for graduation. No music, one tiny bouquet of yellow roses, just enough to cover my tiny white Bible. What about the plans for the wedding? What about time to think about what I wanted to do, go to LA, or go back to the country and have my husband and home. I chose the husband and home. I so wanted to be the famous designer, and in many ways have done it. Maybe there are many paths to the same goal. I have sewn for famous people, I have seen half the Branson stars in there underwear, doing fittings for their glitzy costumes. Maybe the path not taken was the path that would have brought me fame and fortune. I will never really know. I do know this....when I looked in the precious faces of each of our 3 babies, I knew I made the right choice. And when I stitch up the Spiderman costume my tiny grandson David wears daily (and I mean daily) and see his face light up, I made the right choice. I think life is learning to find sweet moments that are around me daily. I notice, I am grateful. Last friday night, I had both my grandsons here, a part of me wished I was out on a date with some big hunky man....but when little David crawled in my lap, wrapped his tiny arms around me, his eyes full of love and laughter.....there was no place I would rather have been.
I think we make the best choices we can, at the time we make them. And it all works out. Being the Fool Card can mean taking the chance and trusting, when you leap, you will land exactly where you are meant to be. I think so.

Monday, December 17, 2007


This is the Best, Worst, & Spiritual Interpretation of the Tarot. I love this deck, the Golden Tarot of Klimt. His art work is so descriptive, very edgy. The three cards I drew were....

Death

9 of Cups

Ace of Swords


Best......Stop longing for what you desire. Your wish is already attained, right in front of you. Open the door....


Worst......Hopeless and defeated, you give up. What you long for seems just out of reach. You give up, and what you want is just about yours....but you notice it not.


Spiritual.....Stop praying for what you think you don't have. Your prayer is already answered. Visualize having it. Feel it. Focus on it. Your waiting is over...act like it.


This is a fun way to see different aspects of your readings. Play with your cards....and maybe all the interpretations are right. Have fun with it....Linda

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Tarot Poetry
2 of Cups....kiss
3 Cups....grace
Ace of Swords....one
King of Pentacles....treasure
Kiss me goodnight, every night, forever
Grace is the gift you are to me
The sweetest place is in your arms
One, we are.
I treasure you.
Who you are and where you are, I know not.
I just believe you are.
linda

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Why?
'Mall gunman called quiet and depressed
A high school dropout with a criminal past, Robert A. Hawkins had struggled to overcome depression. But friends thought he was making strides.
Then, about two weeks ago, he lost his girlfriend. A week later, it was his job. His friends worried he would regress.
"He was a very helpful young man, but he was quiet," said Debora Maruca-Kovac, a surgical nurse whose family took in Hawkins after her 17- and 19-year-old sons befriended him.
"He didn't cause a lot of trouble. He tried to help out all the time," Maruca-Kovac said. "He was very thankful for everything. He wasn't a violent person at all."
But Maruca-Kovac said she saw nothing foreshadowing the horror Hawkins would inflict during his last moments alive. She remembered a gentle young man who loved animals. But she had a feeling of despair soon after she learned about Wednesday shootings. By then, she had learned of a suicide note that Hawkins had left behind.
"I had a feeling it could be him," she said.
She told The Associated Press that she and her husband let Hawkins stay with them after he was kicked out of his family's house. She would not say why his family had kicked him out, but court records show that at least once he was termed a ward of the state, which legally removed him from his parents' custody.
With Hawkins living in her home, Maruca-Kovac could see he had a drinking problem and was an occasional marijuana smoker. He enjoyed music and video games — "normal teenager stuff," she said.
"He was depressed, and he had always been depressed," Maruca-Kovac said. "But he looked like was getting better."
Hawkins had earned a GED after dropping out of Papillion-La Vista High School. He got a driver's license after moving in with the Maruca-Kovacs and five months ago started working at a McDonald's restaurant near their raised ranch-style home in a middle-class neighborhood in Bellevue, Maruca-Kovac said.
Hawkins lived with several friends for a couple days at a time before landing at Maruca-Kovac's house last year, she said.
"He was like a lost pound puppy that nobody wanted," she said. "I felt sorry for him. I let him stay, and we tried to get him on his feet."
In the note, which was turned over to authorities, Hawkins wrote that he was "sorry for everything" and would not be a burden on his family anymore.
"Now I'll be famous," he wrote.
Maruca-Kovac went to the medical center, where victims of the shooting soon began to arrive.'
As I watched in horror the news, this story makes me ripping mad. I know he violently killed 9 people and physically hurt many others, mentally he irrevocably damaged everyone in the mall. Does ANYONE SEE WHY? Hurt people, hurt people.
The damage of being, not just feeling, but really being unwanted. Losing what you love. Over and over. Living in someone else's home, being grateful for them letting you have a couch to sleep on. This morning on the news, they were interviewing the lady he had been living with, and they ask her, 'do you think you did enough to try to help him?' She apologetically said, 'I guess not. Look at what happened.' What the hell? She opened her home, listened to him, was one person that DID something. Where is his family? Where are the Christians at? Where are the Spiritually evolved people that are supposed to be here to ease the suffering on this insane planet? He was quiet, because he stopped talking. NO ONE WAS LISTENING. What is wrong with people. He wanted to be remembered. He wanted what we all want, someone to want us, to love us, to LISTEN to us. And really hear us. His family, girlfriend, workplace, life, didn't want him. WERE NOT LISTENING. I drew one card about, Why? Why did he do this? The Justice Card. He executed his own justice. And his own death. Even now, they're not counting him among the dead. Why? He died too. And left a brutal gash in the homes and lives of innocent shoppers at that mall. Ironic, people shopping for gifts for other people they love. Merry Christmas. He didn't FEEL loved or WANTED. He was screaming for help, for someone to know him. To just remember him, love him. Well, now they'll remember him. How horrible. 'ye have ears, but you do not hear.' someone named Jesus said this. anybody remember him?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I love using Corrine Kenners' book, 'Tarot Journaling' for new ways to play with the Tarot. This morning, I am using 4 questions from page 144, get into the character. I drew this card randomly, He is the King of Pentacles.
I am the King of Pentacles. You would never guess it by looking at me, but.....I look like I have it all together, but I really don't. My stuff is what I hide behind. And I have alot of stuff. If that stuff shows the world, how successful I am, then I have it all. But not really. Do you see a lady by me, here? Or adoring children? No. You see fields of crops, more money, more work. Both of my hands are full, of more stuff. My eyes are looking to the past, somewhere back there I had something worth more than money. And I chose the money. How regal, I look, and strong. What a great actor I am. My stuff doesn't keep me warm at night.
I am the King of Pentacles, when I look back on my life I am ashamed about...the choices I made. About thinking this was all there is to attain, money, property, stuff. I am ashamed I didn't share more of it with people that needed it. I just piled it up all around me, and worshiped it.
I am the King of Pentacles, you need me because....you think with your heart, and aren't the most practical person. Someone has to be practical and plan for a secure future. You live by the seat of you pants, and just flit through life. Get serious, have a financial plan, where will you be in 5 years?
I am the King of Pentacles, I have a secret. It is....I really do care about other people. I take care of them, but behind the scenes. I don't want anyone to know I have a soft side. I seem gruff and stern, but the reason I try so hard to have this stuff, well, to enjoy it, but also to later give it away. When I don't need it anymore, I will surprise you who I give it to. And you'll find out I did have a tender heart, instead of a cold calculating, cash register ticking inside my proud chest. Maybe I needed the stuff to fill a empty place inside me? Please, look beyond what you see, look deeper. The stuff is the wall I hide behind.
The essence of us, humans, is love. How in the world we get this so messed up, I have no clue. But if you just watch the craziest of us doing the stupidest things, it's all a cry for love. Just give people what they want, sounds easy. Not.
I have a friend who is this guy. He looks like he has it all. And he really has nothing of spiritual value. Lets no one get really close to him, they might want his stuff. I actually feel sorry for him. Maybe there's always hope, as long as there's life. I am going through my stuff, and cleaning-giving-simplifing my life. Only keeping what I love.
This card is a great card to get, if you need money, or help getting money. He's all about land, investments, stock market, stuff. If he just doesn't lose the gift of sharing. Maybe his gift of manifesting money, is a gift, to help those that aren't there yet. So, that's his lesson. Share.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Poetry in Motion
Taking one word that describes each card, I write a poem that includes those words. These 4 cards are the 3 of Swords, the Star, the 6 of Swords, and the 10 of Wands.
'pierce, perfect, passing, protect'
Pierce me,
I'll wear the scars proudly.
So,what if perfect beauty
is not perfect?
To pass on the wounds,
may seem the best choice.
Yet, to protect my heart from pain,
I really never live.
the wounds of life are Art.
Ask to be made beautiful....
Linda

Monday, December 03, 2007

I love Journaling with the cards. Today, I randomly drew the 2 of Cups. Great card to play with. Using the 'Alphabet Soup' idea, I write out 26 things I see here. 26 ideas/images to look at.
a.alter, both cups rest on a table, or an alter. In matters of the heart, most of the time if feels like what you long for is unreachable. Laying it on the alter, is surrendering to what you want, letting the one you love, choose you, or not.
b. beloved, seeing a vision of fantastic things in the one you adore. I believe it's called 'rose colored glasses.'
c. consistent, holding true to what your heart seeks.
d.desire, how you feel every time you think of this person.
e. ethereal, heavenly emotions. So fragile you dare not tell anyone how you feel.
f. fantasy, your dream lover, in living color.
g. gallant, brave, fearless in the face of love. No, 'well, I gotta think about this, be getting back to you sometime.'
h. healing, a safe place to bare your ripped up, scarred soul.
i. inspiration, a reason to lose those last 10 pounds, a reason to dance again.
j. jitters, that feeling you have in your tummy when he calls. And to be with him in person, wow.
k. kiss, cannot wait to kiss him. Talking without talking.
l. longing, they see each other, but there seems to be something keeping them apart.
m. musing, daydreaming about him. Your thoughts leading you far away from the work right in front of you, waiting to be done.
n. notice, someone that has your full attention.
o. overcome, usually there will be obstacles to work through. But how sweet to have him by your side working through it together.
p. passion, that sweep you off your feet feeling....
q. quest, the game, the anticipation of seeing that person again, and again.
r. ready, the place you both need to be, to have this really work.
s. selfless, loving them more than yourself. They are you.
t. tender, how you would protect this holy place of love.
u. understanding, knowing why their behavior is weird, you scare them. Got right under the wall, next to their heart.
v. vie, there may be others contending for his affection.
w. woo, gently, win their trust, their heart.
x. eXcite, just seeing them is joy.
y. yes, yes, yes.
z. zati, devotee. You are devoted to this one man. 100%.
The couple on the card are made for each other. Mirror each other. Yet, there seems to be something keeping them apart. Some people believe unless love comes easy and just lands in front of you, it's too much trouble. Others believe it's a gift, and you race after it, pursue it, attain it. I have no answer. When I have tried to make it happen, it eludes me. When I give up, and go do something else, it shows up unexpected. I believe it finds you, but there will be challenges, and that just bring out the best or worst in each other. Then you see the lover in a different light, will the fantasy have the strength to become reality? I believe it can. Eternally optimistic...I am...

Sunday, December 02, 2007

My Friend, Ralph
I am having coffee, browsing through saved emails, deleting what I no longer need, and come across an email from my friend Ralph. I met him about 2 years ago, while on a visit to the lake, he was just he nicest man, loved being retired by the water, working at the Shrine Club. He was 64, still bitter from a divorce, and had no belief in romance. And falling in love, never again. So, when he would come to Springfield to pick up the supplies for the Shrine Club, he would take me out for lunch. We had animated discussions. He believed in nothing he couldn't see, and I believe in everything I cannot see. We enjoyed out debates! One morning, this summer, I notice the Death notices in the Springfield Newsleader online. I never pull them up. And this morning, I do. First name on the list is Ralph. A sudden death, unexpected, he is gone. I didn't go to his funeral, but later this summer when I was back at the lake, I did go by his final resting place. Standing there, with a beautiful view of the lake, big oak trees shading him, there is a little plaque with his name.
2 fresh yellow roses, lay in the fresh brown earth. I talked to him, just wanted a moment to say goodbye. And was curious about his journey on the other side. We had talked about that, and he believed there was nothing. A big nothing.

This morning, I find an old email, left in my files, from him. I sense he is here, and I ask him, Hey, Ralph, so what do you think about death now? Where are you.....(this may sound strange to people that don't know me, but the ones that pass over, are really hanging out all around us. They give us messages all the time....most go unnoticed. And I talk to them, and most of them let me know they heard me...and like it.)

I draw out 3 cards, the ones posted above, his answer....5 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, and the Death card. How funny! He wasn't happy with going, was angry and disgruntled. A new place of beauty, (looks like an orb, a glowing ball of golden light, a flowered gateway to a new home, and yes, silly Linda, I am dead.)

So, I lay 2 cards on either side of each original card I drew, to see what else he may say to me....I get these.....Strength, by the 5 of Swords, and the Ace of Wands...After the initial tricky step of getting there, he finds himself standing straight up, strong, proud, more alive than ever, ready for this new journey.... By the Ace of Pentacles, I get the Fool and the Lovers
How sweet. He was foolish to not believe. Believe there was more, and there was so much more. A place he is loved, and is pure love. A place he now understands why he had the lessons he had, even the horrible ones, here. And he loves himself for experiencing every single thing he went through. Now, he sees it from the 'other side', and it all makes wonderful sense. He loves, he laughs.The next group, the Emperor card and the Page of Swords lay beside the Death card. He, the father, is worried about one of his sons. I believe he told me there were 3 sons. Issues with one son, lie unfinished. The bitterness falls on this son like a heavy blanket. He argues with Death, and with Life. Seems Ralph left one son, just like him. Sad, bitter and angry at life, and death. With these cards coming up, he would be telling me....this is something he is still working on, from his new home. In the light, he still is the father, and will hang around this son more than the others. This son still needs him.

This card jumps from the deck, like an final say...Temperance. It's all good. He is well, he is home, he is waiting. He would still like to argue with me, that was pretty entertaining for both of us, but he has this one son to love, (he loves the other 2, but they knew it, and loved him back, so very much.) He has things to do and places he goes, he won't rest until this issue with the son is healed.

We are energy, life, and like Jesus said, there is NO death. We just change. This body is like the car you drive, when you are in it, directing it, steering it, it looks like it's moving, it's alive. When you step out of the car, it is still, lifeless. Just a mode of transportation. Same as the body you wear here. A mode of transportation. When it stops working, you are still here, just without this silly skin suit you wear. Until you come back, get a new body. I think Jesus told them...'Ye must be born again....and again....and again.' Keep doing it till you get it right...

Ralph is still here, as are the friends and loved ones you have. Say hi to them, they'll show you, in some strange way, they heard you. ! Linda




Thursday, November 29, 2007


Tarot, 1,2,3!
This is a fun way to read your daily cards. Of course by now, if you are as addicted to these 78 little colorful friends, by now, as I am, you will enjoy this way to play with them.
After you have randomly drawn your 3 cards, lay them out in the order you drew them. Get your journal, at the top of the page, write across with the heading.....Noun, Verb, Adjective.
Write several words, this could mean.
Noun... Verb... Adjective
Seeker of Swords... Seer of Wands... Ace of Cups
a storm... burning flame... cool flowing water
a desert... waiting... golden chalice
a wild man... simmering in the heat... deep clear ocean
thrashing stallion... purring cougar... divine window in time
Now, putting all these ideas together, what kind of story would this say?
I see a storm just starting to brew, the stallion senses it, and is warning the rider of impending danger. The rider waves his sword around, like that's the only way he can think to threaten the storm to go away? His tactic's do not work....the next card says the wild woman stands by her blazing torch, even in the hot sun of the desert. She patiently waits, the cougar has become her friend, she even has it purring. She is also not hidden under layers of clothing, as the first card is, she is just who she it. The Ace of Cups is cool, healing, refreshing, overflowing. And the landscape of each card is telling. First is a rocky, difficult terrain, going into a hot, endless, flat desert. And the ocean....jump in. Dive deep, swim, play, be healed.
Making a sentence from the words I gleaned.....
The storm raging within you, has released lightning that blazes, hot and furious. Followed by cool, soft rain. Go ahead and feel every emotion, let it rip you, burn you, melt you.
All this angry wandering, in the deserted place of waiting....is actually leading you to the Holy Grail of finding what you really seek. And not where you ever thought you would find it.
A wild man, fighting his way through life, lands in a faraway place that's hotter than hell. He thought he had it bad before. But, just beyond the wall of burning sand, lays icy cold, aqua blue water, deep and clear. He can now see why he needed to take the hard, painful path he chose, and is richly rewarded for his choice, and is bathed in love.
The horse has a mind of it's own, rebelling, fighting the rider. Choose your fellow path mates with care...the heathen woman of the desert has a purring cougar, by her side. Seems the animals would represent my choices in friends, those who challenge me, or those who love me. Or maybe those I have the hardest time with, in the divine window of time, become my dearest friends. You think?
Every card has a million ways you can read it. And with the others beside it, what stories they call tell. Keep it simple, and fun. Linda

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I wanted to play with the cards tonight. This is the Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony. I love the artwork, the images, there are so many things to see on each card, if you have any imagination at all, you'll have a blast with these.
Top 10 things I see in each card...
Three of Wands: A map, a shoreline, a festive red carpet, a sword on his hip, steps going upward, ropes ready to tie something, 2 urns, one with a lid and another not, a beautifully painted table-almost hidden under the map, a person dressed and ready for an adventure.
4 of Cups: 3 very evil looking cats-winged and screeching, one wild dog, and one mangy wolf. One brilliantly lit candle, a person exhausted, a top hat with red roses on it, a dark alley, a wooden crate.
2 of Wands: A very old stone arched bridge, 3 billy goats, an evil troll, clear blue water under the bridge, lush green pasture in the distance, smooth white stones that make a road, 2 solid looking brass posts with blue decoration ornaments on the top of them, wooden slats that form the walk way over the bridge.
The King of Swords: An accomplished man, beautiful, looks kind. A huge magnificent fire bird, 6 adorned ships moving through the waters toward their goal, a small bluff at the waters edge, clear sky with white billowy clouds behind him, a crown of jewels, a very festive cloak, decorated beautifully. A red garment with with red shoes to match. Maybe these are the same Red shoes, from the Wizard of Oz, just click your heels, and you can be home.
So, how can I use these 4 cards and tell a story. Draw on the images that stand out, from the list above, and write.
Once upon a time, in a land near the ocean, a King planned a journey, sort of an adventure, and kept it secret. He had a plan, a boat, some clothes that made him stand out,( seemed he had quite an ego, and didn't know how to blend with the common people.) And a goal. He sailed away, one quiet evening, and going inland for food, it appeared he was robbed, ended up sleeping in the alley, with the wild animals. He looks like he lost his ship, and now must travel by land. He wanders into the country, thinks it beautiful. But the wild goats see him as an intruder, ugly, they look nothing like him ( and as most people see other people unlike themselves, they say they are ugly. Sad fact.) He has now lost most all of his lovely clothes, and is just in his under ware. He has turned into a creature of fear, and has become very ugly. When we fear, we are ugly, and jealous, and impulsive. He has no where to turn, hence he listens to the wise advice of the billy goat, and finally learns that wisdom comes from many sources. He gets up to follow the white stone road, where he ends up in the next card. He has found a way to find more beautiful clothes than he ever owned before, he has magical transport to take him anywhere he wishes, he has learned to use his knowledge, and manifest his wildest desires. Seems he has learned humility. He had the ability before, just needed to get out in life, sleep in the alley, get knocked around a bit, and remember who he really was. And own it. I especially like the part where he is flying high about the ships, he lifts himself up in prayer, perhaps, or faith, and is able to sail farther and faster than ever. Ah, but not alone, he has a beautiful friend to carry him about. We never accomplish anything alone, and must learn to share to pain, and share the glory. Share.
If someone ask me to do a reading, and these cards just flew from the deck......I would say to them....Remember what you longed to do with your life, your dreams, your goals, a treasure map you designed, what was it? Life has cast you about, but you have learned to listen to all wisdom, from every little sign about you. And you have the wonderful ability to do above and beyond whatever you first imagined. And whomever you may need to help you, is right there, maybe not how you envisioned them, just look a tiny bit deeper. A troll may be a King! And visualize yourself ....in the end of the story. Feel as if you have, what it is you once desired. Maybe you have lost hope, and are still in the adventure of meeting strange creatures, and hard experiences. That's good. You're still on your journey. Make it a real story, enjoy it to the hilt. And teach what you learned to anyone willing to listen. Tell it grandly, embellish it, make it dramatic, be a great storyteller! This is your story, make it delightful! If you were to ask me what the timing is from these cards, I would say within 3 weeks, and you will be flying over the obstacles. Looking good....! Keep the faith, watch the signs, listen, and have fun with the your story....Linda

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Who did it?

ORANJESTAD, Aruba - The father of missing American teenager Natalee Holloway will relaunch a search for evidence of her remains in waters off Aruba, he said Thursday after police re-arrested three suspects in her 2005 disappearance.
While authorities searched the sea to depths of 330 feet, Dave Holloway told The Associated Press that he believes his 18-year-old daughter was thrown into deeper waters — a belief based on talks with a police official and a private forensic expert.
Holloway said a private boat owner is providing divers, sonar equipment and the ability to map the ocean floor.
"It's like this: we've searched all the land areas ... It's common knowledge on the island that if someone were to dispose of the body, it would be out in the ocean," he said by telephone
Holloway said he would alert police on the Dutch Caribbean island if anything is found.
Authorities announced Wednesday they had found "new incriminating evidence" and re-arrested three men — Dutch student Joran van der Sloot and brothers Satish and Deepak Kalpoe of Suriname — on suspicion of involvement in voluntary manslaughter and causing serious bodily harm that resulted in Holloway's death.


I am using the Tarot of the New Vision, by Pietro Alligo. I have followed this case about Natalie, and am asking the Tarot if this young man is guilty of her disappearance. This is what I see....


The Knave of Pentacles, he is talking. Word is out, and one bit of evidence is coming out. Look at the sprouting trees in the dirt, by his feet. The truth does not stay hidden. It always comes out. Maybe, taking it's time. On the 4 of Cups card, he has his back turned, and is just looking the other way, but something in not going away. A beautiful white horse is floating in the air above him, her spirit is still held here by the mystery around her death. I feel until her family knows what happened to her and can have peace about this, she will be hanging around in spirit. The Moon. How interesting...something is coming out of hiding, and was hiding in the water. A man comes forth with something significant.


I ask, how is Joran and his 2 friends involved in this?


Look, 3 swords bring pain, tears, loss to the lady that has it all. Or had it all. 3 of Swords, mourning, sadness, pain. 9 of Pentacles, a beautiful independent woman, gentle as a dove, and innocent as a dove. This Ace of Wands....sex. Power, being threatened, One against 3. Outnumbered.

I see evidence coming out, he/they will be charged. I believe the Tarot is saying the water will give them the evidence they finally need. And someone knows too much, whispers of truth are surfacing. Watch the news....there is more evidence to come.

Sunday, November 04, 2007


I got to meet my sister! She and her husband Dennis drove to Springfield, to stay for 3 days. Our father came here, we all got to talk, ask questions, go out for lunch. It was wonderful. I found out facts about his marriage to her mother I never knew. And things about Diana, we really do have alot in common. She is talented Quilt designer, and brought an album of pictures of her finished Quilts to see. Her birthday it tomorrow! Happy Birthday! I plan to go to stay with her next month, as her younger daughter is in the Miss Kansas pagent. Sounds like fun! Strange how life is, I find out I have a real sister, and I never really knew that. Seems there are all kinds of things I am yet to discover....how exciting!

Sunday, October 21, 2007


Life can be full of surprises. And this week, it had a happy one for me! My daughter Johnna, has a Genelolgy website, 'Look to the Past', and this week she get's an email from a lady that is looking for me. Not knowing Johnna is my daughter. The lady said her mother was married to my father, and he had adopted her. Well, dad was married many times, quite handsome and charming he was. I remember being 6 when he married her mother, and 11 when they divorced. And baby Diana, would have been 2 when they married, and 7 when they divorced. Dad had never seen her again, that I knew of. If I ever ask questions, he just acted like he had no clue, and don't ask. I never knew she was my legally adopted sister. She had gone to the courthouse and found the records, and was seeking me. I am 54, and I have a little sister. I never knew. !!!
We have talked online, sent stacks of letters, are getting together in a couple of weeks, for 3 days, to talk. I can't hardly wait. This is one of the few pictures I have of her mother and her. When dad was ready to go, all he took was me, and not much else. I was a gypsy kid. We have so much in common, both love to sew, quilt, do interior designing. Both love our kids silly. She is happily married, has been 25 years. I am happy for her. How strange to find out you have a sister, you never really knew. I am thrilled! And she found me. And through google, and through my daughter, is that not a 'God Thing'. I think so. !

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Three cards, hand picked at random. Earth, earth, water. What do they say?
Stay with your labor, you have much to be proud of.
You are mastering skills, reaching high, passion for what you are doing is following. May feel late in coming, but is still there.
There are so many people, scared, tired, afraid. I found myself there last night, praying, journaling, pacing the floor. Stop it. A real feeling of unease is floating around. All over the planet. I guess these cards would tell me, keep doing what you're doing....hope comes one word at a time. Whatever you do in love, is the best. Maybe the hardest, but the best. bye...

Sunday, July 08, 2007

I love taking pictures. We have had so much rain, the flowers are blooming like crazy. I love the pastels, the dark greens, the rich browns of the earth. Have driven by this park many times, thinking I really need to bring the camera. So, I took the time this week,to wander through the riverwashed stone paths, taking all the pictures I wanted. Just wanted to share them with you....

Aren't they just beautiful?


Don't you just love the fives in the Tarot? In the little book that came with the 'Tarot of Reflections,' it states: excessive worrying about the future often caused by mistakes in the present. A lack of farsightedness often produces the same effect.' I chose this 5,or should I say it chose me? The 5 of Pentacles is what I will journal on today.
The first thing I see in this card is.....hungry, starving, backed in a corner, no way out, depressed, manic, needing help, praying for help, or hope, having come half way and stopping for rest. Having something that was a gift, a source of power, and now it's a burden, it is controlling you. Needing to give it back, pass it on to someone else. Stop looking backward, clean house, change your mind, let go.
Being a 5 of Pentacles, it can mean effecting your security, your money, your home, or your body. Your stuff. So, is the stuff what you really want to keep? Or, are you ready for new stuff, with new energy attached to it? Or are you making yourself crazy with 'what if's'? Time to let go. I remember being in an Alanon meeting a long time ago, and a beautiful young woman said to the group....'sometimes when you don't know what the right thing to do is, usually, it's whatever the hardest thing to do is, that is your answer.' The hardest thing to do. That one thing I would hold on to for dear life, and want no one to pry out of my little hands. Why do I have to give that up? Because it is keeping me from venturing into the unknown, and trusting that whatever I might need for tomorrow, will be there. Manna from heaven. Trust, ah....that's a scary place, just trust. My job is to show up, and be present, stop hiding. Sometimes when this card shows up in a reading, I cringe. Ah, stop, build an alter and lay myself on it, with whatever it is I need to let go of. Just sit with feeling hungry, sad, lost, confused, alone, naked, crazy. Let the feeling surface, and pummel me, and write about it, cry about it, feel it. Let it move through me, and float away. Just feel it.
And what would this card repesent for me today? A situation with my grandson. That I have no power over and should keep my mouth shut about. Maybe I can only see a tiny corner of the whole picture, and it's not my business to jump in there and try to change/fix/control anything. The hardest thing to do here, is shut up, and trust he is exactly where he is meant to be.
I think the number 5's, even the #5 of the Hierophant, are cross road cards. A fork in the road. Which way is the best. The Hierophant would say to me, pray about it. Surrender it. And wait until the conflict inside passes, then make a choice.
I love something I read in the book, 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. It said, 'I respect my friends and family so much, that I believe they will make the right choices for themselves without my telling them what to think or do.' Wow. That's a hard one. Just shut up. If they want to know, they'll ask. Other than that, it's not my business.
If I could find something good about this card, it would be, being forced in that corner will make me realize what I need to do to get out of it. Pain is such a great catalyst. Certainly gets your attention, and no pills to make it go away. Well, maybe for a little while, then it pops up again..........bye....

Monday, May 07, 2007

Today feels like a lazy, rainy, long day. I am using The Victorian Flower Oracle from Magic Realist Press, designed by Karen Mahony. I use these cards when I feel like playing with something other than the Tarot. An interesting mix here. I like to look at the center card, and let the story tell itself from that card. The card meanings say....A farewell, A hidden romance, A threat. Who would I be saying goodbye to? Perhaps a man that remains hidden, maybe he was always hidden. In that card, I see the 6 candles, barely lit. A shadow falls over Camillia's face, she is hidden, or is the truth hidden from her? The farewell card is tossing a bouquet of blue forget-me-not's into the river. Time to let the water wash it all away. Time to really let go. And why? Why would it be time? A suitor shows up, dressed to impress. He leans in toward the lady, and what response does he get? She is rather prickly. Doesn't let anyone get very close to her. Instead of her delicate soft hand, extended to him, he gets at huge thorn. But, look, he was prepared for her 'who are you, what do you want and and why are you here?' He wears thorn-proof yellow gloves! He's prepared for her! She is so charming. Quite the challenge, and I'd say she's well worth the mating meneuvers he goes through. Under those thorns, she's soft pink and white. She's tender, gentle hearted, easily bruised. Hence the protective attire she wears. It can come off. But not yet. I think the man she's tossing in the river, is why she needed the thorns . This new beau looks like a donkey. A democrat? Humble? Stubborn? Long suffering? Very different from her. An interesting mix. I see a red ribbon tied in a fancy bow, with a tiny golden key hanging from it. The key to her heart? He looks like he's ready to stay awhile and enjoy the show. And with those yellow gloves he might be just the guy to fearlessly take the thistles from her. Ah, she loses her hiding place. But maybe she wants to. Whoever he is, he's a real threat to her singleness. I hope he packed a lunch, this just might take him awhile.

I think it's time for a nap....

Friday, May 04, 2007


Last friday night, I was asked to speak at the Unity Church Single's Group, on the subject of the Tarot. I wanted to have fun with it, so I designed a layout for each of the expected 25 or so people that were to show up. It's a rainy, cold night. I get there, and about 40 excited singles were enjoying the pot luck dinner that preceded my session. I brought various Tarot decks for them to use, and foam boards with the Tarot cards gluesticked to them. I know that will just horrify the traditional tarot people, but hey, it's a good way to explain the sequence of the cards, and have them all together where they can see them. So, I call my layout, 'The Lovers Spread', and I give them each a blank envelope and a blank piece of paper. And the copy of the card layout spread sheet. We have a blast. They are completely out of control, and cannot ask enough questions, or stay in their seats. We're supposed to be there for one hour. Well, three hours later, as they are flipping the lights on and off, to run us out of there, one quiet older gentleman is sitting over at the far table, appearing completely confused at what his cards are trying to tell him. So, I go over there, and ask if I can help. The questions I ask them to ask, were:
1. 'Who' do you see for me in this card, describe this person.
2. 'What' will it be that brings us together?
3. 'Where' are they , on the path to being with me, right now?
4. 'When' will this passionate interlude take place?
5. 'Why' are we meant for each other?
He had drawn these 5 cards, I have posted above. The blank paper was for a question only they would know, and the envelope was to write the cards they drew out, and what they seen in those cards. The answer to their question was somewhere in the symbols, and only they would find it.
As you see the cards he was sadly looking at, I flinched at first glance, then with my ususal upbeat attitude, I searched for a happy ever after story here. Quite challenging. He could only mutter, I don't think there is anyone out there for me. I will always be alone, and I wish I hadn't even done this silly card thing. Personally, I believe the answer is right in front of us, cards or no cards, and if you elimaniate the fear factor, what good news can you find in this group of cards to tell this guy? I jumped in, and said, 'she appears to be new widow. She is in mourning, and not looking for a new mate yet. She is angry and bitter at the loss of her husband. She has suffered, as you have. You will meet her at a support group, or a Spiritual group, and talk. You will find you have much in common, and a friendship will cautiously grow. You know her right now, and have spoken with her. Not knowing she will someday be your Soulmate, you both are blinded by pain, and this pain will be the catalyst that brings you together. Through both your losses, you find happiness you both have never, ever found before. She is tall, slender, silver longish hair, and soft blue eyes.'
He smiled, the sweetest smile, and said, 'I know her! I know who she is!' He hugged me, he eagerly grasp the papers with his reading now printed out on it, to his heart, and said, 'thank you so very, very much.'
Some days it's hard to be a reader. To honestly listen to clients/friends in crisis situations, and find good news there. He was the reason I was to be there that night. I appreciate all the others that had fun and participated, but the joy on his face.......makes me love what I do. I hope I meet them ( he and his lady love) someday, when they are together, strolling hand in hand, with the hard past behind them both, and nothing but happiness on the path ahead of them. I really do believe in happy endings. He made that friday night, a happy memory for me. Cool.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Worst day cards, or what?


What would you think, if you had this scary group of Tarot cards, show up for your daily, personal, journaling reading? Oh, no! Put them back in the deck and keep shuffling. Draw again....hope for better cards!
Not really. They may be great cards. You just have to look a little deeper to see the message here. That's my job! Dig deep. Be a reporter, see these 3, from every angle. Good, bad, and whatever, talk to me cards, what ARE you trying to say?
This is the Golden Tarot of Klimpt, the Devil, 10 of Swords, and Death. What a party!
Good news version.....a person, I see a woman, is pure hell to deal with. She lives to torture you, she says nothing but underhanded, evil remarks about you. She despises you. Hey, we all have one of these around. You know who she is. Medusa. Ah, she's giving up. You're immune to her nasty venom. She's found someone new to torture. Good deal.
Bad news....What you fear, have nightmares about, is at the front door.
John the Baptist, his head on a plate for Herod's beautiful stepdaughter/sexy dancer. What do you fear, and how can you face it, with NO fear? This 10 of Swords, can be all in your mind, over and over, never shutting up. Magnified by fear, but, hey, the end is in sight. Go to sleep and wake up in the morning, perhaps it was all a dream, and it's gone now. Finished. Over.
Another way to read these cards....you really are stuck. No matter what choice you make, you're tortured. If you stay with the situation, it IS hell. If you give up and leave, you feel like a loser. Take time to talk to someone else, and get more insight about what choices you honestly have. You may be so worn out by the crap going through your mind about this mess, you can't see a path out of this. Stop believing what your mind is telling you. Get someone else's opinion. And pray. Help is all around you, you just have to ask. So, walk out of that dark, secret place you're hiding in your mind, and get honest. No matter how bad it seems, it will pass. Hanging onto it isn't helping. Maybe is hurting you, making you sick, killing you. Surprise your fears, do something unexpected. It couldn't get worse, you have imagined the worse, over and over. See what the truth is, and relax.
I don't care how bad some readers see the cards, I look at this from every angle, and will find something good in here. I have to. If I didn't really believe 'all things work together for good', then I have no hope. And hope is in the story, somewhere. I promise to find it.
If I could choose who I am today in these 3 cards, I am the baby the gentle lady is holding. I am safe, and asleep to all the crap the news is spouting, and the naysayers are predicting. I am innocent, and trusting. I am good. I have hope.
ps. I chose these cards to write on today, didn't draw them for my journaling. Thank God. These are panic attack cards. But, hey, there are meds for that! And I have it.