Stones
I was wandering around a Bookstore in town, when this book stood out to me. Healing Stones by Nancy Rue and Stephen Arterburn. I have never been a fan of Christian fiction books, but this one grabbed my attention. I bought it, brought it home, and could not put it down. I understand some people do not see how I can be a Christian, and a Tarot Card Reader. Well, I am. I was born into a religious family, and have struggled with what I honestly believe, and what I was taught to believe. And I am at peace with my faith, with Jesus, and with the cards.
This is a story about a woman, a woman that did everything right to make a wonderful home and have the perfect marriage. Then she fell in love with another man, and had an affair. A very public affair. She meets a unorthodox psychologist and begins to delve into what and why this happened. And as he began working with her, this is no easy job, as she thinks she knows why it happened. And yet, she really doesn't. As they go into short sessions, he drops questions, like pebbles, for her to ponder. She is being blamed, by her friends, colleges, family, everyone.....for the demise of the marriage. And riddled with guilt, she accepts the blame. And questions, where is God in all this mess?
During one conversation, Sully, the counselor, asks her how she is doing....and she answers, she feels like she is being stoned. You remember in the Bible, when you committed adultery, you were stoned to death. Seems we haven't learned as much as we think, as we still point fingers, and want to place blame on someone. Some guilty party. And you are stoned, word by word, you feel like you are being tortured, little by little, you die. Maybe no one can see it, but you feel it. And part of your Soul dies. Sully asks her, who do you see, holding the stones? She rattles off all the people she thought were her friends, family, by name. And especially, her soon to be ex husband. He is holding the biggest stone.
Affairs are never about sex. They are about someone that listens to you. And this wise, nutty, counselor, takes her back in time, to what her life was like, way before this other man came in the picture. Her husband was busy, distant. Expected her to take care of the house, kids, everything he really didn't want to deal with. That was what a good Godly wife should do. And she did it. Not as a couple, but as this is her job, just do it and God will fix all the problems. And don't question the husband, as he has a job also, and so much pressure, leave him alone. Don't burden him with your stuff. So, slowly, like stone by stone, resentment builds up. No big fights. Just quietly.....stone by stone. And you know how a beautiful meadow creek is, when the water is running over the stones in the bottom, it is soothing, and clear. You can see every stone. They just sort of show up, and fit together.
I had taken this picture this summer at a park, and loved the way the stones were laying, and the different colors. So I posted it for you to see.
Then I looked through my Tarot Cards, the Initiatory of the Golden Dawn Tarot Deck is used here. I looked for a card with stones on the bottom of the card. And I found it, The Devil. These stones are packed in there. No getting them out. Each one represents something one of these people are holding against the other person. This is the same pose as the Lovers Card, but love is gone now. And fear, feeling chained to each other, and believing you are in a living hell, is where this couple are standing right now.
What if you could honestly go back in time, to the first stone. And give it a name. And as a married couple, both of you could look at it, and love it, forgive it. Toss it away. Far away. And as the stones in life, start to pile up, fall down and we just walk over them, not really looking at, what we choose to not see. Don't rock the boat, no confrontation. Whatever you do, don't fight in front of the children. Act like everything is fine. Yet, you both know it's not. And what really got my attention, is how the counselor presented it to her.....one person cannot do this alone. And one person cannot have an affair alone. She had been alone in her marriage for so long...she numbed herself out by staying busy. By doing everything, keeping all the bases covered. And tried not to bother him, her husband, with her problems. He taught her to do it all herself. He taught her to leave him alone. And she learned her job very well. Then one day, a man, it could be any man, was kind to her. Talked to her and listened to her. And that was all it took. She had found a friend.
Then I looked for a Tarot Card with no stones in it. And I found The Star. Just beauty, peace, and 2 pitchers being poured by a naked, innocent woman, into peaceful waters. This chic is hiding nothing. She has told him everything, her husband, and he has listened. He has helped her pick up the stones that would block the flow of passion, love, friendship, they had at one time. Look at how high the water is, and how lovely. And they can find love again, if both of them are willing to see, who placed the stone there. And why. And they both can pick it up together, and do something else with it. How about building a real loving home with it? It could be the foundation, all the stones.....bathed in forgiveness, could now hold up the home. Hold them together. Instead of apart.
The Tarot is a pack of pictures, that bring up memories, thoughts, answers that are within you already. You just don't know it yet. And beyond fear, hate, unforgettable things, can be forgiveness. And that is where I need my Faith, as I cannot do it alone. None of us can.
As soon as you trip over the stone, pick it up, listen to it, show it to the person that hurled it at you, and talk about it. Forgive, and toss it far away. Linda
