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Entertaining, Sassy, Creative, Deep, Passionate. Artistic, Tender, Opinionated. Joyful, Stubborn, Grateful, Humble.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

This is the Fool Card from the Tarot of Reflections Deck by Francesco Ciampi. I am going to start with this card, and work my way through the complete deck. I want to see how many things I can draw from each card.....

I am at the beginning, again. Every time I start over, I feel excited, afraid, stupid, punished, forgiven, who am I? And why can't I just find a place to be, or become a person I am content with, and just accept life and burrow in my little hole and refuse change? This must be a gift, somehow a gift, to start over and over and fall down and get right back up again. If I were the chic in this card, I would say...I am only taking what means something to me. Gotta go, have outgrown this gig and on to new faces, new lessons. In the little bag I carry, I have (of course!) my Tarot Cards, my Mary Kay stuff, something to remind me of each one of my 3 children, and that isn't something like a wad of gray hair, strech marks, and a worry stone, worn slick. I would choose something like...The crinkled up note Jonna passed to me in church, many years ago, after I had sang the song 'We shall Behold Him.' The note said, 'you really did good, mom.' Like she just noticed I could sing.... And a picture of my daughter Anna, holding her first baby. Ah, I cry to think about it. That look of love that only another mother would understand. A holy bond we share. And from Josh, a snapshot of us together in a church, the colored windows bathing us in prisms of colors. We were deep in conversation, and the looks on our faces were like we were the only 2 people in the world. It was a Holy moment, caught on film by a stranger that developed it and gave it to me as a gift. It was on my refrigerator when our house burned down. When I walked throught the ashes, it was still here, black and curled, I didn't care. It was etched in my heart. That would be there with me. 2 tiny perfect arrowheads, my father gave me. He collects them and cherishes each one. His way of saying he loves me? Perhaps. I know we don't speak the same language. Maybe the language of the heart has no words. It speaks through your eyes. I heard you, dad. No doubt, I could go on and on...the key to the backdoor of my girlfriend Janice's home, the day the house burned. A tiny key, I will never forget. A home for a few months. A safe place to sleep, cry, question, 'start over', which is what the Fool Card is. Sometimes big starts, sometime little tiny steps. It all counts. She has learned to travel light, and the white lily, a surprise lily, no doubt. Just when you think you have no hope....this beautiful lily springs up, overnight to remind you that life has surprises (good and bad!) and you never know what lies around the next bend in the dusty road. Trust, and enjoy the journey. See you on the path. Linda

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