This is the Best, Worst, & Spiritual Interpretation of the Tarot. I love this deck, the Golden Tarot of Klimt. His art work is so descriptive, very edgy. The three cards I drew were....

Death

9 of Cups

Ace of Swords

Best......Stop longing for what you desire. Your wish is already attained, right in front of you. Open the door....

Worst......Hopeless and defeated, you give up. What you long for seems just out of reach. You give up, and what you want is just about yours....but you notice it not.

Spiritual.....Stop praying for what you think you don't have. Your prayer is already answered. Visualize having it. Feel it. Focus on it. Your waiting is over...act like it.

This is a fun way to see different aspects of your readings. Play with your cards....and maybe all the interpretations are right. Have fun with it....Linda

Tarot Poetry

2 of Cups....kiss

3 Cups....grace

Ace of Swords....one

King of Pentacles....treasure

Kiss me goodnight, every night, forever

Grace is the gift you are to me

The sweetest place is in your arms

One, we are.

I treasure you.

Who you are and where you are, I know not.

I just believe you are.

linda

Why?

'Mall gunman called quiet and depressed
A high school dropout with a criminal past, Robert A. Hawkins had struggled to overcome depression. But friends thought he was making strides.
Then, about two weeks ago, he lost his girlfriend. A week later, it was his job. His friends worried he would regress.
"He was a very helpful young man, but he was quiet," said Debora Maruca-Kovac, a surgical nurse whose family took in Hawkins after her 17- and 19-year-old sons befriended him.
"He didn't cause a lot of trouble. He tried to help out all the time," Maruca-Kovac said. "He was very thankful for everything. He wasn't a violent person at all."
But Maruca-Kovac said she saw nothing foreshadowing the horror Hawkins would inflict during his last moments alive. She remembered a gentle young man who loved animals. But she had a feeling of despair soon after she learned about Wednesday shootings. By then, she had learned of a suicide note that Hawkins had left behind.
"I had a feeling it could be him," she said.
She told The Associated Press that she and her husband let Hawkins stay with them after he was kicked out of his family's house. She would not say why his family had kicked him out, but court records show that at least once he was termed a ward of the state, which legally removed him from his parents' custody.
With Hawkins living in her home, Maruca-Kovac could see he had a drinking problem and was an occasional marijuana smoker. He enjoyed music and video games — "normal teenager stuff," she said.
"He was depressed, and he had always been depressed," Maruca-Kovac said. "But he looked like was getting better."
Hawkins had earned a GED after dropping out of Papillion-La Vista High School. He got a driver's license after moving in with the Maruca-Kovacs and five months ago started working at a McDonald's restaurant near their raised ranch-style home in a middle-class neighborhood in Bellevue, Maruca-Kovac said.
Hawkins lived with several friends for a couple days at a time before landing at Maruca-Kovac's house last year, she said.
"He was like a lost pound puppy that nobody wanted," she said. "I felt sorry for him. I let him stay, and we tried to get him on his feet."
In the note, which was turned over to authorities, Hawkins wrote that he was "sorry for everything" and would not be a burden on his family anymore.
"Now I'll be famous," he wrote.
Maruca-Kovac went to the medical center, where victims of the shooting soon began to arrive.'

As I watched in horror the news, this story makes me ripping mad. I know he violently killed 9 people and physically hurt many others, mentally he irrevocably damaged everyone in the mall. Does ANYONE SEE WHY? Hurt people, hurt people.

The damage of being, not just feeling, but really being unwanted. Losing what you love. Over and over. Living in someone else's home, being grateful for them letting you have a couch to sleep on. This morning on the news, they were interviewing the lady he had been living with, and they ask her, 'do you think you did enough to try to help him?' She apologetically said, 'I guess not. Look at what happened.' What the hell? She opened her home, listened to him, was one person that DID something. Where is his family? Where are the Christians at? Where are the Spiritually evolved people that are supposed to be here to ease the suffering on this insane planet? He was quiet, because he stopped talking. NO ONE WAS LISTENING. What is wrong with people. He wanted to be remembered. He wanted what we all want, someone to want us, to love us, to LISTEN to us. And really hear us. His family, girlfriend, workplace, life, didn't want him. WERE NOT LISTENING. I drew one card about, Why? Why did he do this? The Justice Card. He executed his own justice. And his own death. Even now, they're not counting him among the dead. Why? He died too. And left a brutal gash in the homes and lives of innocent shoppers at that mall. Ironic, people shopping for gifts for other people they love. Merry Christmas. He didn't FEEL loved or WANTED. He was screaming for help, for someone to know him. To just remember him, love him. Well, now they'll remember him. How horrible. 'ye have ears, but you do not hear.' someone named Jesus said this. anybody remember him?

I love using Corrine Kenners' book, 'Tarot Journaling' for new ways to play with the Tarot. This morning, I am using 4 questions from page 144, get into the character. I drew this card randomly, He is the King of Pentacles.

I am the King of Pentacles. You would never guess it by looking at me, but.....I look like I have it all together, but I really don't. My stuff is what I hide behind. And I have alot of stuff. If that stuff shows the world, how successful I am, then I have it all. But not really. Do you see a lady by me, here? Or adoring children? No. You see fields of crops, more money, more work. Both of my hands are full, of more stuff. My eyes are looking to the past, somewhere back there I had something worth more than money. And I chose the money. How regal, I look, and strong. What a great actor I am. My stuff doesn't keep me warm at night.

I am the King of Pentacles, when I look back on my life I am ashamed about...the choices I made. About thinking this was all there is to attain, money, property, stuff. I am ashamed I didn't share more of it with people that needed it. I just piled it up all around me, and worshiped it.

I am the King of Pentacles, you need me because....you think with your heart, and aren't the most practical person. Someone has to be practical and plan for a secure future. You live by the seat of you pants, and just flit through life. Get serious, have a financial plan, where will you be in 5 years?

I am the King of Pentacles, I have a secret. It is....I really do care about other people. I take care of them, but behind the scenes. I don't want anyone to know I have a soft side. I seem gruff and stern, but the reason I try so hard to have this stuff, well, to enjoy it, but also to later give it away. When I don't need it anymore, I will surprise you who I give it to. And you'll find out I did have a tender heart, instead of a cold calculating, cash register ticking inside my proud chest. Maybe I needed the stuff to fill a empty place inside me? Please, look beyond what you see, look deeper. The stuff is the wall I hide behind.

The essence of us, humans, is love. How in the world we get this so messed up, I have no clue. But if you just watch the craziest of us doing the stupidest things, it's all a cry for love. Just give people what they want, sounds easy. Not.

I have a friend who is this guy. He looks like he has it all. And he really has nothing of spiritual value. Lets no one get really close to him, they might want his stuff. I actually feel sorry for him. Maybe there's always hope, as long as there's life. I am going through my stuff, and cleaning-giving-simplifing my life. Only keeping what I love.

This card is a great card to get, if you need money, or help getting money. He's all about land, investments, stock market, stuff. If he just doesn't lose the gift of sharing. Maybe his gift of manifesting money, is a gift, to help those that aren't there yet. So, that's his lesson. Share.

Poetry in Motion

Taking one word that describes each card, I write a poem that includes those words. These 4 cards are the 3 of Swords, the Star, the 6 of Swords, and the 10 of Wands.

'pierce, perfect, passing, protect'

Pierce me,

I'll wear the scars proudly.

So,what if perfect beauty

is not perfect?

To pass on the wounds,

may seem the best choice.

Yet, to protect my heart from pain,

I really never live.

the wounds of life are Art.

Ask to be made beautiful....

Linda

I love Journaling with the cards. Today, I randomly drew the 2 of Cups. Great card to play with. Using the 'Alphabet Soup' idea, I write out 26 things I see here. 26 ideas/images to look at.

a.alter, both cups rest on a table, or an alter. In matters of the heart, most of the time if feels like what you long for is unreachable. Laying it on the alter, is surrendering to what you want, letting the one you love, choose you, or not.

b. beloved, seeing a vision of fantastic things in the one you adore. I believe it's called 'rose colored glasses.'

c. consistent, holding true to what your heart seeks.

d.desire, how you feel every time you think of this person.

e. ethereal, heavenly emotions. So fragile you dare not tell anyone how you feel.

f. fantasy, your dream lover, in living color.

g. gallant, brave, fearless in the face of love. No, 'well, I gotta think about this, be getting back to you sometime.'

h. healing, a safe place to bare your ripped up, scarred soul.

i. inspiration, a reason to lose those last 10 pounds, a reason to dance again.

j. jitters, that feeling you have in your tummy when he calls. And to be with him in person, wow.

k. kiss, cannot wait to kiss him. Talking without talking.

l. longing, they see each other, but there seems to be something keeping them apart.

m. musing, daydreaming about him. Your thoughts leading you far away from the work right in front of you, waiting to be done.

n. notice, someone that has your full attention.

o. overcome, usually there will be obstacles to work through. But how sweet to have him by your side working through it together.

p. passion, that sweep you off your feet feeling....

q. quest, the game, the anticipation of seeing that person again, and again.

r. ready, the place you both need to be, to have this really work.

s. selfless, loving them more than yourself. They are you.

t. tender, how you would protect this holy place of love.

u. understanding, knowing why their behavior is weird, you scare them. Got right under the wall, next to their heart.

v. vie, there may be others contending for his affection.

w. woo, gently, win their trust, their heart.

x. eXcite, just seeing them is joy.

y. yes, yes, yes.

z. zati, devotee. You are devoted to this one man. 100%.

The couple on the card are made for each other. Mirror each other. Yet, there seems to be something keeping them apart. Some people believe unless love comes easy and just lands in front of you, it's too much trouble. Others believe it's a gift, and you race after it, pursue it, attain it. I have no answer. When I have tried to make it happen, it eludes me. When I give up, and go do something else, it shows up unexpected. I believe it finds you, but there will be challenges, and that just bring out the best or worst in each other. Then you see the lover in a different light, will the fantasy have the strength to become reality? I believe it can. Eternally optimistic...I am...

My Friend, Ralph

I am having coffee, browsing through saved emails, deleting what I no longer need, and come across an email from my friend Ralph. I met him about 2 years ago, while on a visit to the lake, he was just he nicest man, loved being retired by the water, working at the Shrine Club. He was 64, still bitter from a divorce, and had no belief in romance. And falling in love, never again. So, when he would come to Springfield to pick up the supplies for the Shrine Club, he would take me out for lunch. We had animated discussions. He believed in nothing he couldn't see, and I believe in everything I cannot see. We enjoyed out debates! One morning, this summer, I notice the Death notices in the Springfield Newsleader online. I never pull them up. And this morning, I do. First name on the list is Ralph. A sudden death, unexpected, he is gone. I didn't go to his funeral, but later this summer when I was back at the lake, I did go by his final resting place. Standing there, with a beautiful view of the lake, big oak trees shading him, there is a little plaque with his name.

2 fresh yellow roses, lay in the fresh brown earth. I talked to him, just wanted a moment to say goodbye. And was curious about his journey on the other side. We had talked about that, and he believed there was nothing. A big nothing.

This morning, I find an old email, left in my files, from him. I sense he is here, and I ask him, Hey, Ralph, so what do you think about death now? Where are you.....(this may sound strange to people that don't know me, but the ones that pass over, are really hanging out all around us. They give us messages all the time....most go unnoticed. And I talk to them, and most of them let me know they heard me...and like it.)

I draw out 3 cards, the ones posted above, his answer....5 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, and the Death card. How funny! He wasn't happy with going, was angry and disgruntled. A new place of beauty, (looks like an orb, a glowing ball of golden light, a flowered gateway to a new home, and yes, silly Linda, I am dead.)

So, I lay 2 cards on either side of each original card I drew, to see what else he may say to me....I get these.....Strength, by the 5 of Swords, and the Ace of Wands...After the initial tricky step of getting there, he finds himself standing straight up, strong, proud, more alive than ever, ready for this new journey.... By the Ace of Pentacles, I get the Fool and the Lovers
How sweet. He was foolish to not believe. Believe there was more, and there was so much more. A place he is loved, and is pure love. A place he now understands why he had the lessons he had, even the horrible ones, here. And he loves himself for experiencing every single thing he went through. Now, he sees it from the 'other side', and it all makes wonderful sense. He loves, he laughs.The next group, the Emperor card and the Page of Swords lay beside the Death card. He, the father, is worried about one of his sons. I believe he told me there were 3 sons. Issues with one son, lie unfinished. The bitterness falls on this son like a heavy blanket. He argues with Death, and with Life. Seems Ralph left one son, just like him. Sad, bitter and angry at life, and death. With these cards coming up, he would be telling me....this is something he is still working on, from his new home. In the light, he still is the father, and will hang around this son more than the others. This son still needs him.

This card jumps from the deck, like an final say...Temperance. It's all good. He is well, he is home, he is waiting. He would still like to argue with me, that was pretty entertaining for both of us, but he has this one son to love, (he loves the other 2, but they knew it, and loved him back, so very much.) He has things to do and places he goes, he won't rest until this issue with the son is healed.

We are energy, life, and like Jesus said, there is NO death. We just change. This body is like the car you drive, when you are in it, directing it, steering it, it looks like it's moving, it's alive. When you step out of the car, it is still, lifeless. Just a mode of transportation. Same as the body you wear here. A mode of transportation. When it stops working, you are still here, just without this silly skin suit you wear. Until you come back, get a new body. I think Jesus told them...'Ye must be born again....and again....and again.' Keep doing it till you get it right...

Ralph is still here, as are the friends and loved ones you have. Say hi to them, they'll show you, in some strange way, they heard you. ! Linda

Tarot, 1,2,3!

This is a fun way to read your daily cards. Of course by now, if you are as addicted to these 78 little colorful friends, by now, as I am, you will enjoy this way to play with them.

After you have randomly drawn your 3 cards, lay them out in the order you drew them. Get your journal, at the top of the page, write across with the heading.....Noun, Verb, Adjective.

Write several words, this could mean.

Noun... Verb... Adjective

Seeker of Swords... Seer of Wands... Ace of Cups

a storm... burning flame... cool flowing water

a desert... waiting... golden chalice

a wild man... simmering in the heat... deep clear ocean

thrashing stallion... purring cougar... divine window in time

Now, putting all these ideas together, what kind of story would this say?

I see a storm just starting to brew, the stallion senses it, and is warning the rider of impending danger. The rider waves his sword around, like that's the only way he can think to threaten the storm to go away? His tactic's do not work....the next card says the wild woman stands by her blazing torch, even in the hot sun of the desert. She patiently waits, the cougar has become her friend, she even has it purring. She is also not hidden under layers of clothing, as the first card is, she is just who she it. The Ace of Cups is cool, healing, refreshing, overflowing. And the landscape of each card is telling. First is a rocky, difficult terrain, going into a hot, endless, flat desert. And the ocean....jump in. Dive deep, swim, play, be healed.

Making a sentence from the words I gleaned.....

The storm raging within you, has released lightning that blazes, hot and furious. Followed by cool, soft rain. Go ahead and feel every emotion, let it rip you, burn you, melt you.

All this angry wandering, in the deserted place of waiting....is actually leading you to the Holy Grail of finding what you really seek. And not where you ever thought you would find it.

A wild man, fighting his way through life, lands in a faraway place that's hotter than hell. He thought he had it bad before. But, just beyond the wall of burning sand, lays icy cold, aqua blue water, deep and clear. He can now see why he needed to take the hard, painful path he chose, and is richly rewarded for his choice, and is bathed in love.

The horse has a mind of it's own, rebelling, fighting the rider. Choose your fellow path mates with care...the heathen woman of the desert has a purring cougar, by her side. Seems the animals would represent my choices in friends, those who challenge me, or those who love me. Or maybe those I have the hardest time with, in the divine window of time, become my dearest friends. You think?

Every card has a million ways you can read it. And with the others beside it, what stories they call tell. Keep it simple, and fun. Linda

I wanted to play with the cards tonight. This is the Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony. I love the artwork, the images, there are so many things to see on each card, if you have any imagination at all, you'll have a blast with these.

Top 10 things I see in each card...

Three of Wands: A map, a shoreline, a festive red carpet, a sword on his hip, steps going upward, ropes ready to tie something, 2 urns, one with a lid and another not, a beautifully painted table-almost hidden under the map, a person dressed and ready for an adventure.

4 of Cups: 3 very evil looking cats-winged and screeching, one wild dog, and one mangy wolf. One brilliantly lit candle, a person exhausted, a top hat with red roses on it, a dark alley, a wooden crate.

2 of Wands: A very old stone arched bridge, 3 billy goats, an evil troll, clear blue water under the bridge, lush green pasture in the distance, smooth white stones that make a road, 2 solid looking brass posts with blue decoration ornaments on the top of them, wooden slats that form the walk way over the bridge.

The King of Swords: An accomplished man, beautiful, looks kind. A huge magnificent fire bird, 6 adorned ships moving through the waters toward their goal, a small bluff at the waters edge, clear sky with white billowy clouds behind him, a crown of jewels, a very festive cloak, decorated beautifully. A red garment with with red shoes to match. Maybe these are the same Red shoes, from the Wizard of Oz, just click your heels, and you can be home.

So, how can I use these 4 cards and tell a story. Draw on the images that stand out, from the list above, and write.

Once upon a time, in a land near the ocean, a King planned a journey, sort of an adventure, and kept it secret. He had a plan, a boat, some clothes that made him stand out,( seemed he had quite an ego, and didn't know how to blend with the common people.) And a goal. He sailed away, one quiet evening, and going inland for food, it appeared he was robbed, ended up sleeping in the alley, with the wild animals. He looks like he lost his ship, and now must travel by land. He wanders into the country, thinks it beautiful. But the wild goats see him as an intruder, ugly, they look nothing like him ( and as most people see other people unlike themselves, they say they are ugly. Sad fact.) He has now lost most all of his lovely clothes, and is just in his under ware. He has turned into a creature of fear, and has become very ugly. When we fear, we are ugly, and jealous, and impulsive. He has no where to turn, hence he listens to the wise advice of the billy goat, and finally learns that wisdom comes from many sources. He gets up to follow the white stone road, where he ends up in the next card. He has found a way to find more beautiful clothes than he ever owned before, he has magical transport to take him anywhere he wishes, he has learned to use his knowledge, and manifest his wildest desires. Seems he has learned humility. He had the ability before, just needed to get out in life, sleep in the alley, get knocked around a bit, and remember who he really was. And own it. I especially like the part where he is flying high about the ships, he lifts himself up in prayer, perhaps, or faith, and is able to sail farther and faster than ever. Ah, but not alone, he has a beautiful friend to carry him about. We never accomplish anything alone, and must learn to share to pain, and share the glory. Share.

If someone ask me to do a reading, and these cards just flew from the deck......I would say to them....Remember what you longed to do with your life, your dreams, your goals, a treasure map you designed, what was it? Life has cast you about, but you have learned to listen to all wisdom, from every little sign about you. And you have the wonderful ability to do above and beyond whatever you first imagined. And whomever you may need to help you, is right there, maybe not how you envisioned them, just look a tiny bit deeper. A troll may be a King! And visualize yourself ....in the end of the story. Feel as if you have, what it is you once desired. Maybe you have lost hope, and are still in the adventure of meeting strange creatures, and hard experiences. That's good. You're still on your journey. Make it a real story, enjoy it to the hilt. And teach what you learned to anyone willing to listen. Tell it grandly, embellish it, make it dramatic, be a great storyteller! This is your story, make it delightful! If you were to ask me what the timing is from these cards, I would say within 3 weeks, and you will be flying over the obstacles. Looking good....! Keep the faith, watch the signs, listen, and have fun with the your story....Linda

Who did it?

ORANJESTAD, Aruba - The father of missing American teenager Natalee Holloway will relaunch a search for evidence of her remains in waters off Aruba, he said Thursday after police re-arrested three suspects in her 2005 disappearance.
While authorities searched the sea to depths of 330 feet, Dave Holloway told The Associated Press that he believes his 18-year-old daughter was thrown into deeper waters — a belief based on talks with a police official and a private forensic expert.
Holloway said a private boat owner is providing divers, sonar equipment and the ability to map the ocean floor.
"It's like this: we've searched all the land areas ... It's common knowledge on the island that if someone were to dispose of the body, it would be out in the ocean," he said by telephone
Holloway said he would alert police on the Dutch Caribbean island if anything is found.
Authorities announced Wednesday they had found "new incriminating evidence" and re-arrested three men — Dutch student Joran van der Sloot and brothers Satish and Deepak Kalpoe of Suriname — on suspicion of involvement in voluntary manslaughter and causing serious bodily harm that resulted in Holloway's death.

I am using the Tarot of the New Vision, by Pietro Alligo. I have followed this case about Natalie, and am asking the Tarot if this young man is guilty of her disappearance. This is what I see....

The Knave of Pentacles, he is talking. Word is out, and one bit of evidence is coming out. Look at the sprouting trees in the dirt, by his feet. The truth does not stay hidden. It always comes out. Maybe, taking it's time. On the 4 of Cups card, he has his back turned, and is just looking the other way, but something in not going away. A beautiful white horse is floating in the air above him, her spirit is still held here by the mystery around her death. I feel until her family knows what happened to her and can have peace about this, she will be hanging around in spirit. The Moon. How interesting...something is coming out of hiding, and was hiding in the water. A man comes forth with something significant.

I ask, how is Joran and his 2 friends involved in this?

Look, 3 swords bring pain, tears, loss to the lady that has it all. Or had it all. 3 of Swords, mourning, sadness, pain. 9 of Pentacles, a beautiful independent woman, gentle as a dove, and innocent as a dove. This Ace of Wands....sex. Power, being threatened, One against 3. Outnumbered.

I see evidence coming out, he/they will be charged. I believe the Tarot is saying the water will give them the evidence they finally need. And someone knows too much, whispers of truth are surfacing. Watch the news....there is more evidence to come.

I got to meet my sister! She and her husband Dennis drove to Springfield, to stay for 3 days. Our father came here, we all got to talk, ask questions, go out for lunch. It was wonderful. I found out facts about his marriage to her mother I never knew. And things about Diana, we really do have alot in common. She is talented Quilt designer, and brought an album of pictures of her finished Quilts to see. Her birthday it tomorrow! Happy Birthday! I plan to go to stay with her next month, as her younger daughter is in the Miss Kansas pagent. Sounds like fun! Strange how life is, I find out I have a real sister, and I never really knew that. Seems there are all kinds of things I am yet to discover....how exciting!

Life can be full of surprises. And this week, it had a happy one for me! My daughter Johnna, has a Genelolgy website, 'Look to the Past', and this week she get's an email from a lady that is looking for me. Not knowing Johnna is my daughter. The lady said her mother was married to my father, and he had adopted her. Well, dad was married many times, quite handsome and charming he was. I remember being 6 when he married her mother, and 11 when they divorced. And baby Diana, would have been 2 when they married, and 7 when they divorced. Dad had never seen her again, that I knew of. If I ever ask questions, he just acted like he had no clue, and don't ask. I never knew she was my legally adopted sister. She had gone to the courthouse and found the records, and was seeking me. I am 54, and I have a little sister. I never knew. !!!

We have talked online, sent stacks of letters, are getting together in a couple of weeks, for 3 days, to talk. I can't hardly wait. This is one of the few pictures I have of her mother and her. When dad was ready to go, all he took was me, and not much else. I was a gypsy kid. We have so much in common, both love to sew, quilt, do interior designing. Both love our kids silly. She is happily married, has been 25 years. I am happy for her. How strange to find out you have a sister, you never really knew. I am thrilled! And she found me. And through google, and through my daughter, is that not a 'God Thing'. I think so. !

Three cards, hand picked at random. Earth, earth, water. What do they say?

Stay with your labor, you have much to be proud of.

You are mastering skills, reaching high, passion for what you are doing is following. May feel late in coming, but is still there.

There are so many people, scared, tired, afraid. I found myself there last night, praying, journaling, pacing the floor. Stop it. A real feeling of unease is floating around. All over the planet. I guess these cards would tell me, keep doing what you're doing....hope comes one word at a time. Whatever you do in love, is the best. Maybe the hardest, but the best. bye...

I love taking pictures. We have had so much rain, the flowers are blooming like crazy. I love the pastels, the dark greens, the rich browns of the earth. Have driven by this park many times, thinking I really need to bring the camera. So, I took the time this week,to wander through the riverwashed stone paths, taking all the pictures I wanted. Just wanted to share them with you....

Aren't they just beautiful?

Don't you just love the fives in the Tarot? In the little book that came with the 'Tarot of Reflections,' it states: excessive worrying about the future often caused by mistakes in the present. A lack of farsightedness often produces the same effect.' I chose this 5,or should I say it chose me? The 5 of Pentacles is what I will journal on today.

The first thing I see in this card is.....hungry, starving, backed in a corner, no way out, depressed, manic, needing help, praying for help, or hope, having come half way and stopping for rest. Having something that was a gift, a source of power, and now it's a burden, it is controlling you. Needing to give it back, pass it on to someone else. Stop looking backward, clean house, change your mind, let go.

Being a 5 of Pentacles, it can mean effecting your security, your money, your home, or your body. Your stuff. So, is the stuff what you really want to keep? Or, are you ready for new stuff, with new energy attached to it? Or are you making yourself crazy with 'what if's'? Time to let go. I remember being in an Alanon meeting a long time ago, and a beautiful young woman said to the group....'sometimes when you don't know what the right thing to do is, usually, it's whatever the hardest thing to do is, that is your answer.' The hardest thing to do. That one thing I would hold on to for dear life, and want no one to pry out of my little hands. Why do I have to give that up? Because it is keeping me from venturing into the unknown, and trusting that whatever I might need for tomorrow, will be there. Manna from heaven. Trust, ah....that's a scary place, just trust. My job is to show up, and be present, stop hiding. Sometimes when this card shows up in a reading, I cringe. Ah, stop, build an alter and lay myself on it, with whatever it is I need to let go of. Just sit with feeling hungry, sad, lost, confused, alone, naked, crazy. Let the feeling surface, and pummel me, and write about it, cry about it, feel it. Let it move through me, and float away. Just feel it.

And what would this card repesent for me today? A situation with my grandson. That I have no power over and should keep my mouth shut about. Maybe I can only see a tiny corner of the whole picture, and it's not my business to jump in there and try to change/fix/control anything. The hardest thing to do here, is shut up, and trust he is exactly where he is meant to be.

I think the number 5's, even the #5 of the Hierophant, are cross road cards. A fork in the road. Which way is the best. The Hierophant would say to me, pray about it. Surrender it. And wait until the conflict inside passes, then make a choice.

I love something I read in the book, 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. It said, 'I respect my friends and family so much, that I believe they will make the right choices for themselves without my telling them what to think or do.' Wow. That's a hard one. Just shut up. If they want to know, they'll ask. Other than that, it's not my business.

If I could find something good about this card, it would be, being forced in that corner will make me realize what I need to do to get out of it. Pain is such a great catalyst. Certainly gets your attention, and no pills to make it go away. Well, maybe for a little while, then it pops up again..........bye....

Today feels like a lazy, rainy, long day. I am using The Victorian Flower Oracle from Magic Realist Press, designed by Karen Mahony. I use these cards when I feel like playing with something other than the Tarot. An interesting mix here. I like to look at the center card, and let the story tell itself from that card. The card meanings say....A farewell, A hidden romance, A threat. Who would I be saying goodbye to? Perhaps a man that remains hidden, maybe he was always hidden. In that card, I see the 6 candles, barely lit. A shadow falls over Camillia's face, she is hidden, or is the truth hidden from her? The farewell card is tossing a bouquet of blue forget-me-not's into the river. Time to let the water wash it all away. Time to really let go. And why? Why would it be time? A suitor shows up, dressed to impress. He leans in toward the lady, and what response does he get? She is rather prickly. Doesn't let anyone get very close to her. Instead of her delicate soft hand, extended to him, he gets at huge thorn. But, look, he was prepared for her 'who are you, what do you want and and why are you here?' He wears thorn-proof yellow gloves! He's prepared for her! She is so charming. Quite the challenge, and I'd say she's well worth the mating meneuvers he goes through. Under those thorns, she's soft pink and white. She's tender, gentle hearted, easily bruised. Hence the protective attire she wears. It can come off. But not yet. I think the man she's tossing in the river, is why she needed the thorns . This new beau looks like a donkey. A democrat? Humble? Stubborn? Long suffering? Very different from her. An interesting mix. I see a red ribbon tied in a fancy bow, with a tiny golden key hanging from it. The key to her heart? He looks like he's ready to stay awhile and enjoy the show. And with those yellow gloves he might be just the guy to fearlessly take the thistles from her. Ah, she loses her hiding place. But maybe she wants to. Whoever he is, he's a real threat to her singleness. I hope he packed a lunch, this just might take him awhile.

I think it's time for a nap....

Last friday night, I was asked to speak at the Unity Church Single's Group, on the subject of the Tarot. I wanted to have fun with it, so I designed a layout for each of the expected 25 or so people that were to show up. It's a rainy, cold night. I get there, and about 40 excited singles were enjoying the pot luck dinner that preceded my session. I brought various Tarot decks for them to use, and foam boards with the Tarot cards gluesticked to them. I know that will just horrify the traditional tarot people, but hey, it's a good way to explain the sequence of the cards, and have them all together where they can see them. So, I call my layout, 'The Lovers Spread', and I give them each a blank envelope and a blank piece of paper. And the copy of the card layout spread sheet. We have a blast. They are completely out of control, and cannot ask enough questions, or stay in their seats. We're supposed to be there for one hour. Well, three hours later, as they are flipping the lights on and off, to run us out of there, one quiet older gentleman is sitting over at the far table, appearing completely confused at what his cards are trying to tell him. So, I go over there, and ask if I can help. The questions I ask them to ask, were:

1. 'Who' do you see for me in this card, describe this person.

2. 'What' will it be that brings us together?

3. 'Where' are they , on the path to being with me, right now?

4. 'When' will this passionate interlude take place?

5. 'Why' are we meant for each other?

He had drawn these 5 cards, I have posted above. The blank paper was for a question only they would know, and the envelope was to write the cards they drew out, and what they seen in those cards. The answer to their question was somewhere in the symbols, and only they would find it.

As you see the cards he was sadly looking at, I flinched at first glance, then with my ususal upbeat attitude, I searched for a happy ever after story here. Quite challenging. He could only mutter, I don't think there is anyone out there for me. I will always be alone, and I wish I hadn't even done this silly card thing. Personally, I believe the answer is right in front of us, cards or no cards, and if you elimaniate the fear factor, what good news can you find in this group of cards to tell this guy? I jumped in, and said, 'she appears to be new widow. She is in mourning, and not looking for a new mate yet. She is angry and bitter at the loss of her husband. She has suffered, as you have. You will meet her at a support group, or a Spiritual group, and talk. You will find you have much in common, and a friendship will cautiously grow. You know her right now, and have spoken with her. Not knowing she will someday be your Soulmate, you both are blinded by pain, and this pain will be the catalyst that brings you together. Through both your losses, you find happiness you both have never, ever found before. She is tall, slender, silver longish hair, and soft blue eyes.'

He smiled, the sweetest smile, and said, 'I know her! I know who she is!' He hugged me, he eagerly grasp the papers with his reading now printed out on it, to his heart, and said, 'thank you so very, very much.'

Some days it's hard to be a reader. To honestly listen to clients/friends in crisis situations, and find good news there. He was the reason I was to be there that night. I appreciate all the others that had fun and participated, but the joy on his face.......makes me love what I do. I hope I meet them ( he and his lady love) someday, when they are together, strolling hand in hand, with the hard past behind them both, and nothing but happiness on the path ahead of them. I really do believe in happy endings. He made that friday night, a happy memory for me. Cool.

Worst day cards, or what?

What would you think, if you had this scary group of Tarot cards, show up for your daily, personal, journaling reading? Oh, no! Put them back in the deck and keep shuffling. Draw again....hope for better cards!

Not really. They may be great cards. You just have to look a little deeper to see the message here. That's my job! Dig deep. Be a reporter, see these 3, from every angle. Good, bad, and whatever, talk to me cards, what ARE you trying to say?

This is the Golden Tarot of Klimpt, the Devil, 10 of Swords, and Death. What a party!

Good news version.....a person, I see a woman, is pure hell to deal with. She lives to torture you, she says nothing but underhanded, evil remarks about you. She despises you. Hey, we all have one of these around. You know who she is. Medusa. Ah, she's giving up. You're immune to her nasty venom. She's found someone new to torture. Good deal.

Bad news....What you fear, have nightmares about, is at the front door.

John the Baptist, his head on a plate for Herod's beautiful stepdaughter/sexy dancer. What do you fear, and how can you face it, with NO fear? This 10 of Swords, can be all in your mind, over and over, never shutting up. Magnified by fear, but, hey, the end is in sight. Go to sleep and wake up in the morning, perhaps it was all a dream, and it's gone now. Finished. Over.

Another way to read these cards....you really are stuck. No matter what choice you make, you're tortured. If you stay with the situation, it IS hell. If you give up and leave, you feel like a loser. Take time to talk to someone else, and get more insight about what choices you honestly have. You may be so worn out by the crap going through your mind about this mess, you can't see a path out of this. Stop believing what your mind is telling you. Get someone else's opinion. And pray. Help is all around you, you just have to ask. So, walk out of that dark, secret place you're hiding in your mind, and get honest. No matter how bad it seems, it will pass. Hanging onto it isn't helping. Maybe is hurting you, making you sick, killing you. Surprise your fears, do something unexpected. It couldn't get worse, you have imagined the worse, over and over. See what the truth is, and relax.

I don't care how bad some readers see the cards, I look at this from every angle, and will find something good in here. I have to. If I didn't really believe 'all things work together for good', then I have no hope. And hope is in the story, somewhere. I promise to find it.

If I could choose who I am today in these 3 cards, I am the baby the gentle lady is holding. I am safe, and asleep to all the crap the news is spouting, and the naysayers are predicting. I am innocent, and trusting. I am good. I have hope.

ps. I chose these cards to write on today, didn't draw them for my journaling. Thank God. These are panic attack cards. But, hey, there are meds for that! And I have it.

My Aunt came home from the hospital today. I am going there on Sunday to see her, stay with her if I am needed. I drew these cards about this trip, to see what the Tarot of Durer has to say about the next few days.

Great cards....9 of Cups, Justice, 10 of Cups.

I see alot of company, family gathered together. Drinking, eating, laughing. The happiness is flawed, there are cracks in the wall of that 9 card, and a bunch of garlic to ward of the vampires of gloom and despair. Face the truth, be nakedly honest, relax, rest. Gifts of love from unexpected sources, calm waters, a safe solid place to be. Maybe it takes time to be a family. We all seem so disconnected. I hate that. I crave having family. I need my family. My father will be there, I want to see him. This Justice Lady had huge Angelic wings. I know I will feel Grandma there, hanging out in spirit. If feels very right. And blessed.

I have a new deck of Victorian Flower Oracle cards, by Karen Mahony. I usually stick with just the Tarot, but tonight I wanted to draw one of these beautiful detailed cards, to see what space I am in. Ah........

'Sympathy'. Scabious and Marigold. The little booklet says...'whatever this woman is going through, there is much sympathy to help her in this time. People will be understanding, and it is good to lighten the load, let them help.' I see it ironic, the lady with the purple, is holding the hands of twin girls. My Aunt has identical twin girls, the same age as me. And they both brought her home from the hospital today. I think the card is a window, the young lady is my Aunt in her youth, healthy and outgoing. Now sad, and very sick, she needs help and sympathy to manage. And she certainly will have it. Living there all her life, she knows everyone, and they know her. Neighbors, what a blessing. I pray this is a time of happiness for her, and healing. At least Peace, and finally being home surrounded by her family. And what a motley crew we are.....

Ah. Monday. Using the Tarot Sutra, I love the colors, & traditional images here. These would be cards I drew for myself today. Sorta dark, then that optimistic Ace. So, if I were to do the 3 way reading....

Best case scenario: An Angel wakes you up this morning, get to work, you have a great idea just sitting there. Get going, now. No nap time today.

Worst case scenario: Someone from your past, and I mean creepy, out of the depths of the grave, comes driving by, thinking he just might get lucky. Ha. I think not. Trouble, keep on going down the road, big boy.

Spiritual Lesson: You are waking up to how blessed you really are. And what a blessing you are. Some negative person will attempt to give you a reality check, but it's their reality. Don't listen. Keep focused, stay happy. Listen to music, sing. Keep going forward, don't look back. Follow the Angel......

March 1 was my birthday. Usually a day I dread, but this year, it was pure joy. I am using the new 'Tarot of the Holy Grail' from Lo Scarabeo. I chose the cards I feel represented this one day of the year, for me.

The King of Chalices, the 2 of Swords, and the 6 of Cups. Later, I will add the Queen of Pentacles.

My father called me the night before my birthday, wishing me a great day. Wants to take me out for dinner next time he see's me. That, IS a Miracle. Right up there with, walking on the water. Thank you, Jesus.

It's stormy here, the news said tornadoes before morning....I'm not really afraid of much, but tornadoes, terrify me. So, I invite myself to my daughter Anna's home, it feels safer there, and take over the couch. Around 4 in the morning, the sirens are wailing, I wake Anna up, her sweet hubby and boys and I, all go for cover. The little one, David, he's 3, snuggles up to me, telling me, 'I luva da Nanna'. How precious. After the weather scare, passes, I head for the couch. And little David decides to sleep with me, along with Curious George and Superman. Well, I had been praying for someone to keep me warm at night, and what an answer. A sweet answer. Get up, come home, have lunch with Diana, have supper with Sherril, go to see Chris Duarte in Blues Concert, have lunch the next day with Becky and Jennifer (my writer friends, really published writers) Have dinner with Anna and the boys. Get flowers, get cards. Get calls from my Aunt (still, ugh) in the hospital, June, Judy, Sharon. Even my busy oldest daughter, Johnna, came to cook me dinner and spend the night with me, on Monday night. Josh got out of being here by having to work, I'll catch up with him later this week. I am so blessed. This Queen of Pentacles is how I feel today.....loved, fed, hugged, kissed by Angels.

She has it all. And appreciates it. So do I.

The story the cards say, is, This King holds the Chalice close to his heart, I am the Queen of Cups, I am that chalice. The 2 of Swords is stormy and uncertain, wait it out. It will pass. In the morning, hugs and gifts. Calls and flowers.

In the 23 Psalm, it says, you prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. My table is full and happy.

Many good things have happened this year. I feel changes coming, I have my list of goals, and my faith feels stronger than it has, for a long time. My meditation/prayer time is addictive. Like Holy Ground. My favorite place to be. I am blessed.

La Temperanza-Temperance-Matiging

Last September I had journaled here, on the Death Card. I was going through the Major Arcana, became distracted, and never got around to finishing what I had started. So, today, I want to move on to the 14th Major Card, Temperance.

When you look at the placement of this card, in the line up of the 22 Major cards, it has a rather dire set of friends surrounding it. Hanged Man, Death, Temperance, Devil, and the Tower. What a group of cards to hang out with. Ugh. I looked up a Traditional meaning, from the 'Complete Book of Tarot' by Onna and Rob Docters van Leeuwen. "Life on earth is over- the process of dying commences. The wanderer is now in a stage of transition.The dimensions of time and space unite, which makes further life on earth impossible. The Angel Rapheal receives and preserves the humans essences. A dying human has no more material wishes, is calm, modest, temperate.

Racheal Pollock states, the Angel resembles the Greek goddess Iris, whose sign was the rainbow. Rainbows represent peace after the storm. The card represents moderation, balance in all things, doing the right thing, no matter what the outcome. Sometimes it means doing nothing. Simply wait. You have an Angel right here, guiding you, let her do her job. This energy brings about balance and peace. Finding a way for all things to work out, even though we have no idea how it could happen. That's why there are Angels.....here to help us. If it does mean the process of dying, and it can mean dying to many things, in many ways. Each may be hard to let go of, but time to really let it go. Feels like a death, you may have to cry, grieve, write goodbye letters. It'll be ok.

If this card was to Speak, I believe it would say.....'I am Temperance, you need me because....'

If you are really following the path of the cards, you have already been through the Hanged Man, Death, me, yet to come is the Devil and the Tower. What you cannot see ahead, I can see. You are in a great cycle of change, Alchemy. It might feel like the worst is over, but I say not. You need to rest, trust your Angel to guide you. You need to do mundane things to ground you. You may need to reach out to others, going through the same dark, sunless valleys you are trudging through.

These are other 'Temperance' cards I added, I love the symbols from them. Again, an Angel. Raphael: 'He who presides over every suffering and every wound of the Sons of Man, the Holy Raphael. 1 Enoch 40:9'. His name means,'God has healed.' Whatever you have lost, grieved over, or if you are sick, he comes to heal you. Hold you, and not leave your side as you walk through the lessons of the: devil and the tower cards. Gently leading the loin and the lamb. Calm down, relax. The Milkmaid, taking care of the cow, blending the milk and the cream together. Daily tasks that keep us focused. And the beautiful maiden, offering her gift, I wonder what the bottle holds, hot tea perhaps? Wine, or would she be holding it up to be filled by someone standing outside the card? She is gentle and has a servants heart. Every day we face death. Maybe it's in giving up on a dream, a goal. Or feeling yourself change, and knowing we have nothing in common with our friends anymore, or our family. Who are we, and what is this sorta scary place of waiting.....for what? The next card in this lineup is the Devil. Our fear. Maybe letting go of our fear? Using this time of healing in silence, as a gift. And when fear knocks on the door, we calmly walk into it's lesson, and relax. Knowing we are not alone, that beautiful Angel is right here. Always. Never are we alone. Reminds me of the song....'time.....is on your side, yes it is...'

Today I used the Universal Fantasy Tarot, The China Tarot, The Aarcheon Tarot and the Tarot of Durer. All can be purchased through Amazon.com.

I have been so sick with the flu. I am getting better, I keep telling myself that, and I think I really am. I wanted to journal today, so I threw out these 4 cards to see what I may need to remind myself of. From the Llewelyn Deck, the 5 of Pentacles, the 8 of Cups, the 2 of Pentacles, and the Star.
.......Ah, the dreaded 5 of Pentacles...this would be my convertible top getting ruined by the ice storm, and is in the shop today, costing me about $700 to fix, and since I have $500 deductible, ha! Here is the $500 I have to pay. An act of God, they said. I think not. Just a bad storm, and I am grateful this is all it will take to fix it. This 8 of cups, Valentines Day, I am sick in bed with the flu, sad, alone, feeling so sorry for myself. Woe is me. The 2 of Pentacles, up and down. One day, is yes, and one day, a no. Be flexible.....and ah.....the Star. Prayers are
answered, I feel good. No more chicken soup and Kleenex. Hope is a good thing. As I am writing this, a little bird is singing it's heart out, right outside my window. The sun is shining, it's cold, cold out there, but somewhere amid the broken branches of all the beautiful trees, sits one little bird, singing. That's all I need today. A sign. A good sign.

Another new Tarot Deck!!! Oh, happy day! This one is 'Universal Fantasy Tarot' by Paolo Martinello. Very Sci-Fi, artsy, surreal. I honestly like it. The only thing I don't, is, it has so many images on each card, your eyes are drawn to several things at the same time. A little hard to focus with. But, I do love the colors, the images, the details in each card.

This morning, I ask my cards....how is this issue with my father going to turn out? Any body else out there with family crap they worry about? Welcome to my world.

Here is the first 3 cards I drew..King of Swords, 3 of Swords, and the 2 of Pentacles.

He is hashing this over in his mind, bringing 3 of us pain, (me, him and his girlfriend), waving 2 flags of distraction. This 2 of Pentacles can mean, give it 2 months to work itself out, seems to be a dance he is still wanting to dance. Personally, I would love to talk about it, get everything on the table and find out what the problem is. He is in control, and until he wants to get out of that 3 of Swords card, silence reigns. In this 3 of Swords card, it looks like a, don't go there, just go away. How true. So, for now, drop it, let it go. OK....... got it. So, I drew 3 more cards to see how this will ultimately work out, if at all, ever.

I drew the 2 of Cups, the Ten of Cups and the King of Wands. Here they are.....

Ahhh, relief. A healing, a joining of forces. Happiness. The home is home. But he comes up as the King of Wands, and it's his choice when and how this works out. So, my job is to shut up ( not easy for me) and wait. He really does see me, and know what I need. The window she stands in, in the 2 of Cups, is a window of time that he sees. Thank God. I was wondering if he really even cared about this whole mess. I believe he does, care, and may even be doing something the right way. I need to stop worrying......OK...got it. I'll relax. Stop trying to fix it.

February 1: Full Moon in Leo Heightened emotions are always a feature of full Moons, and when mixed with Leo, oversensitivity is probable. The tendency is to allow your ego to have a bit more voice than it should. At its best, Leo is the sign of healthy self-expression, creativity and leadership. There is so much boldness and strength in this sign, and if you can step forward in a great way, people are sure to take notice. From now until the next new Moon on February 17, see if you can cultivate a more fun-loving, confident approach to life. Be the Sun in the center of your own solar system and shine brightly.

The full Moon. It was on the first, and is still hanging out bringing out the crazies, emotions, frustrations, yada, yada.

This is the brand new 'China Tarot', Artwork by Der Jen, and can be purchased at Lo Scarabeo. The artwork is so beautiful. The only thing I don't like is the Minor Arcana ( numbers 1-10),they are each just the images of the element. But, the Major Arcana and the Court Cards are absolutely lovely.

These are the cards I drew tonight, The Star, the Moon, and the Knave of Chalices.

I see a woman wishing, hoping, praying, for something so dear to her. She is beautiful, yet she stands alone. Wrapped in green, with the aqua colors floating around her, her heart is so open. Full, like the Moon on the next card. Then she sits, the huge golden Moon beside her, her face turned away, almost out of site. She wears little, kind of seductive, enticing, yet I see no one in this card also. In the next one, she is dressed and ready to go. She is offering her cup to someone outside the picture, her eyes are on him. I would say it's a him, as these are all watery cards, and influence out emotions. The knave would be the messenger card, so without words, she speaks. And he hears.

Pray, wait, walk. This full moon time is not the best time to do impulsive things. Just wait, the timing is coming, just not tonight. She offers her heart in a humble way, gentle, her face is finally in full view, and sweetly serene. It's all about the timing. Wait, wait.