I am woman. I can do it all. Not.

This is how I feel today. Depicted by The beautiful Victorian Romantic Tarot by Karen Mahony. In a nutshell, tired, sad, take me away.....if I were to do this as a reading, like- look at these 2 cards, the very best outcome, the worst outcome and the Spiritual outcome, here we go......

The Ten of Wands, and Temperance

Best: I am strong, I can carry everything. I am a great example for my children, I cut the wood, I carry the wood, I make the cradle. Where is the man in this picture? Well, maybe he is off chopping down the tree I got the branches from. There is an Angel here, to tell me to stop trying to do everything myself and get in the boat and just relax. Maybe I need to listen to her. Relax.

Worst: I am so worn slick. These kids, the burdens I carry, how much farther do I have to go before I am home. I see someone ahead, a boat, and looks like an angel, but do I trust it? No. I must be having visions, I really am losing it. It could not, really be that easy to find a way out. I believe the only way to get anything done right, is to do it myself. How arrogant is that.

Spiritual: I am still strong, on the path, taking care of what I need to. It feels like 40 years in the wilderness. Ah, my prayer has been answered. There is an Angel to guide me, to help me, to hold me. Thank you for this boat and it's Angelic Guide. I thankfully step this place of grace, and I relax and let someone else drive. I can sleep, I can let go.

Sometimes life is overwhelming. And we just need to remember we are not alone. And sometimes angels don't look like angels. Watch who shows up in your life today....

Christmas Day. I am thinking about New Years Resolutions, and what I really want, in my life. Hence, these two cards seem to be what I need to think about. I was shuffling my deck, and these two fell out. Saying, hey, here we are....the answer. What do you love? Who do you love? Follow that. I see a lover sneaking up on her, (yeah, only in the movies...) and arrows of love flying all over the place. I see her holding a small sacred book, her diary, and a single red rose. The Angel Raphael covers the couple. The High Priestess has the book, open and is reading it. She is wise and holy, she is the inner voice that speaks in silence. She guides me. She is the feminine face of God. She see's what I cannot. Keep journaling, keep listening. Follow my heart, choose only what I love in my life. Simple, but not easy. Or, choose only things and people that love me, in my life. 'and Angels shall lead you...'

These are the Tarot Cards I was attempting to upload the other day.....what I wrote about them is in the post below.....!

While having my beloved coffee this morning, I was thinking about the Tarot Class I taught this last year. While going over my notes, I realized I had stopped using a layout that was my very favorite. Hence, this post. The 3 Card layout, for dyslexic's. Me. Layout your 3 cards, with your very specific question, and start with your center card. Whatever that card tells you (and yes, it talks to you, look at the image in the picutre, what is it doing? Or pointing, is there anything in that center card that is showing you the way for your eye to fall into the next card?) This morning I am using the Durer Tarot Deck. I ask about my day.....drew the 4 of Pentacles, the Lovers, and the Ace of Pentacles. If I can get the scanner to work (wait....wait.....) you will see these cards.
Well, the scanner worked, but Blogger 'add a photo' is not working. I hope this isn't an indication of how my day will procede. Anyway......I will add it later today.
Back to the cards....First thing I see in the center card, a cozy nest with huge gold coins placed there. A man that has climbed the mountain to get there, and an eagle flying to the right (it is showing me the next card to look into). The Ace of Pentacles, one of the gold coins is out of the nest, the massive eagle has a firm grip on it. The face of a elegant woman, crowned and relaxed, appears. In both these cards, they show the edge of the cliff. One barren and sharp, the other grassy and soft. The eagle here is glancing across the center card, and watching the lovers frolic in the woods. 2 more bird are on this card, doves, love birds, gently touching. The couple seem very different, ha! A male and female. Talk about different. He is wild and playful, Mr. I love the woods and sex, and music and sex, and let's just live for the moment and have sex. Is there a common theme here? She is attempting to touch him, leaning up to get his attention. Looks like mating is part of the coming attractions, but first she wants to say something. Well, some things never change.
Here is my version on this layout....
I work, I stash money in my nest, wow, I think I will stop worrying about working so much. I have the work thing ....working. Do I have the lover thing figured out? No. I am talking it to death. Stop trying to communicate to the little fellows, and just have some fun. Relax. My nest has enough stuff in it, and I love my job. Go play. Looks like he is the Devil, I think I know him. Maybe I'll give him a call, let him talk me into doing something impulsive and wild. I think I need to get out more.....

Hello! Remember me? I know- I have been gone for awhile...holidays, you know. And I have a another new Tarot deck!Love that Amazon.com, right to the front door.It's The Romantic Victorian Tarot, my Karen Mahony. Lovely. Vintage art, easy to understand, and vivid coloring. And yes, I have it with me all the time, some might call that obsessive. Maybe.....

So, for today, I drew the King of Cups, the Hierophant, and the 3 of Swords. I later drew one card to cap it off, and it was the 6 of Cups, which I will post down below, as what this is all about.

3 ways I want to read this.....

The best: A tenderhearted man is talking to his friends, and his best friend, God, about a situation that is bringing him pain. His loyal dog, loves him and lets him know it will be ok. Seems he is seeking everyone else's opinion, rather than following his heart. His heart must be broken from something he thought he left behind. His shoes are off, as he is sick of walking and his feet hurt. He has gone miles, and yet the past is still behind him, right behind him. Ugh....
The worst: I think I'll get drunk and act like I know everything. I think I am God. I could show everyone how to live and do it right, I think. But alone, at night, when no one can see me, I cry. I am such a fake, only the dog knows the real me. And if I didn't have him on a leash, he would run away from me, too.
The Spiritual version: (my favorite way to read the cards) I am so blessed, with friends, a beautiful home, family. I have God's favor, and know how to talk to Him, He is really my best friend. I have stacks of books, that I study, so I can get closer and closer to what He really taught, love. But even with the knowledge, unless I let it in my heart, I am sad, and confused. Maybe I need to turn around and go back, somewhere I took the wrong turn. If I would love myself with the unconditional love my dog has for me, I would be....healed.



What the Secret is, to what these 3 cards are saying....the 6 of Cups.

We are all children, and Christmas brings out memories from the past, like it or not. But, instead of being sad, about what we did or didn't do, let it go. We did the best we could at the time. And so did our parents. They didn't know how to do it either. Ironicly, by the time we really know anything (or think we do), no one wants to hear it. And we are doing the very best we can right now.Hopefully. Be innocent, be childlike, be trusting. It's called Grace. Just believe we are exactly where we are supposed to be. You know, bloom where you're planted...It's all good. And enjoy the ride. later....

The Tarot of Reflections, created by Francesco Ciampi. Beautiful, vivid, and artistic. As a Seamstress and Designer, I really appreciate the details in the costumes, each card depicts.
I have no question today, just want to see what images surface from these 3 cards. I have the 4 of Wands, the Hierophant, and the Knave of Pentacles. At first glance, all three cards have their arm in the air, showing me something. The center card is a Major Arcana Card, it has a man that would represent the church, God, Universal Law, a Holy Card. He points upward, giving the Peace sign. His other hand clasps a staff, (thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me...Pslams23). The staff has the image of Christ crucified. Forgivness. Strong thick colomns, hold up the Temple, a scarlet red coat, and adornments of a Holy Priest catch my attention. The next card I see is the Knave dressed in eggplant purple, funky, upbeat. His hair spiked in dredlocks, his face intense, the pentacle looks heavy and solid gold. He has an idea, and will stick with it, see's the potential and is on a misson. And then I backtrack to the 4 of Wands, she holds the brides bouquet, wears a sexy laced gown, and a star shaped mask. Looks like she's at a wedding, celebrating, dancing, radiant. So, what would these 3 cards coming up together say......
Dance, celebrate, the Man upstair's, has your back, you have worked hard for this, party on.
Or maybe....A wedding, in a church, the word will soon be out. Or, since the Knave is the last card, it may mean the wedding would be secret, and you will hear about it after the fact.
Or....A celebration of a Holy day, Thanksgiving? Will bring forgiveness amoung family members, listen to what is not being said. That is the important message.
Also, if you follow your Spiritual Path, forgive, comfort, teach, you will reap the rewards of true happiness.
Whenever I see the Hierophant, He reminds me of 'Gods Will'. Like a Divine Sign that your'e on the right path. Nice to know that, you know.

This morning I am using the Secret Tarot by Lo Scarabeo. Sort of reflects the mood I am in right now. And the 3 cards I drew to explain why I am in this confused, angry, what just happened, mood, are right on target. Here they are....The Hermit ( he's called that for a reason, a good reason, listen up girls...) The Tower, nothing is the way it seems, and you better have a Plan B, and the charming, handsome, silver tongued, King of Cups.
What grabs my attention in these 3 cards...someone hiding under a cloak of darkness, lost, with only a small light to guide them. Lightning strikes, the truth comes out, long and winding road...to where? The haunted house? And there he is, cup in hand, or shall we say frosted beer mug, or wine glass, or just a way to escape, whatever that may be. I see no woman here, just someone hiding, falling, sitting stunned. The colors are somber, but with this deck, they are rather dark. I like that today.

This almost reminds me of 'Little Red Riding Hood'. She trustingly walks into a situation that turns into a nightmare, and where is the Knight in shining armor? Sitting somewhere.....who knows where.....thinking. Looks a little late. Hey, don't get up and do anything...wouldn't want to bother you, sir. Ugh.

Today would be a nice day for a long lunch with a girlfriend, chocolate, a massage. Maybe go buy something. Female comforts.....I shall be at the mall, should anyone need me. Bye....

This is my favorite Tarot Deck right now! The Llewellyn Tarot Set, by Anna-Marie Ferguson. Sweet watercolors, nice big cards easy to use, and tons of extra details to draw on in my reading. For today....
Ahh, today. One of those days when just one thing pushes you over the edge, and I started crying, and could not stop. These cards pretty much depict what was going on. Work on my car, nothing seems to be easy, promises that are empty. I have my hands out in hope, and.....everything feels out of reach. Sitting on the ground, confused, what do I work on first, where do I start? I think I envy the gray and white cat in the 8 of Pentacles. She seems to have the answer. Lay down. Stop. She's watching the bird sitting on the water barrel. Patiently waiting for the bird to fly just a little bit closer. The person is this card is focused on what he is creating. Intently focused. Something I could not do today.

The Knight of Cups, everything will be great, better than I think, just hold on. Coming to the rescue, is a man with the answers, and a gentle spirit heal to confusion. He is riding up behind the lady sitting flat out on the ground, wondering what do I do first? And what am I doing wrong here? Maybe nothing.....
Maybe she is just supposed to sit and wait. And stop trying so hard. Another thought I have is, after the 7 of Cups card, is the 8 of Cups. Walking away for a while. That is what I did today. Just turn off the phones and take a nap. Yeah..a catnap.
Looks like she is walking away for awhile. I see this as a safe, quiet place. Nothing popping out of the cups to vie for your attention. Go out by the water and think, alone. Decide what's important, and leave the rest behind. Having the 8 of Pentacles and the 8 of Cups show up together, the #8 is the Strength Card in the Major Arcana. I think it sometimes takes more strength to stop and regroup, than to keep on trying to fix everything and MAKE it all work. She looks tired, and is using a staff to lean against. We all can use help, and asking for it isn't easy. In this card, she's going to wait until morning to decide anything. Good idea. Worry about it tomorrow. Let it go....

I am using The Lovers Path Tarot tonight, Halloween night, a great night to do a reading, don't you think?

I had no question to ask the cards tonight, just wanted to see what cards came out to play. The Three of Pentacles, the King of Cups, the Strength Card, and Balance. From these 4 cards, I see a couple, separated by the top 2 cards. She is walking away, sad. Looks like she's worked hard to have this beautiful, safe, place to live. It may have been just what she wanted at the time, but not today. She doesn't see all the beauty around her, she is tired, and wants to walk away....somewhere else. Following her path, she walks right into the King of Cups card, he sits waiting, gazing into the chalice he holds, contemplating his future. Passive, he seems. Maybe he has learned that what he chases, he never catches. When he waits, what he desires, comes to him. Wisely, he waits. He seems to watch her from a high place, maybe he is visualizing her, in his prayers, his thoughts.

In the Strength card, he walks up behind her and embraces her. A stallion is in the background, wild and free. Huge stones hold a fire, to warm the couple, against the elements of the winter night. Carved symbols appear in the rocks at their feet. She rests back in his arms, he proudly protects her from whatever her fears may have been, she looks calm, and ready to join him in the dance of life. Into the next card, Balance, or Temperance, they dance. He, the masculine, dark beauty of a man, doesn't seem to want to take his cloak off and stay awhile. But he is joining in the dance, and a vivid scarlet ribbon connects these two as they clasp hands. I see the elements of fire and water in the background. They are now in a house, a home? A garland of white flowers adorns the window, 2 white doves of Peace are seen flying by, watching them work out the steps that bring them closer together. Sweet cards.

The sad, resignation on her face has turned to happiness, dancing, being held. Only in the last card does she see his face, on all the others she is looking away from him. And even in that last card, she shyly looks away, but she has seen him, he has a firm grip on her hand, and her heart. He is intently looking at her, cannot take his eyes off of her. The fragile scarlet ribbon flows between them, not binding them tightly together, but gently connecting them as one. How precious, to find your partner, to join the dance. May we all be so blessed.......

Michelle Gardner-Quinn Missing
By Staff
Oct 12, 2006

As a class assignment, for the Tarot Group I lead, I ask my students to play Pyschic Detective. I printed out this news article, and as a group, we ask questions to discern the outcome of this case with Michelle. Sadly, it was not good news. Here is the article from the newspaper.....

Michelle Gardner-Quinn, 21, has been missing since last Saturday. Police have expanded the search for Michelle Gardner-Quinn with more than two dozen agencies searching Burlington and the surrounding area.
Michelle Gardner-Quinn, a University of Vermont student, went missing Saturday morning while walking alone from downtown to her campus dorm room, the Burlington Free Press reported Tuesday

"Time is of the essence," Burlington Police Department Chief Thomas Tremblay told the Free-Press, "and the more time that goes by, the more concerned we become."

Tremblay said detectives had not yet determined whether a crime had been committed.

The chief said investigators were seeking the driver of a Subaru or similar-type hatchback who was reported to be acting suspiciously in the area around the time of Gardner-Quinn's disappearance.

Several police agencies are involved in the investigation.

source: United Press International

Here is what one of my students, Becky, sent me to verify what we got through the cards, about Michelle....
I forwarded the whole article to the slueths group and then I went through my notes and wrote up this report.

Here are the questions we asked and the answers we got. In some cases (not all sorry), I noted extra details that Linda gave, in addition to what she got that the rest of the group got.

Did she just run away? No
Did guy in hatchback have something to do with it? yes. It doesn’t mention if the suspect Rooney was the person in the hatchback.
Where is her body? Outside, some sort of archway leading to the area. Linda: something about the ownership of the property where she was killed, some place people go, maybe owned by older man. Quinn's body was discovered near a popular swimming spot 13 miles east of Burlington, Police Chief Thomas Tremblay said.
How was she killed? drugs involved, possibly stabbed after the drugs incapacitated her.
Was she raped or did she want sex? She was taken some where else. Sex happened, she didn't fight it either because she wanted it or because of being drugged, Out cold, out in the cold came up. Since suspect is charged with other sexual assaults/abuse, I think we can assume that was his intent.
Was she held a while before being killed? Linda said she died about 3am, and the killer left her body laying outside, maybe tortured or her body was marked in some way and that the police know more than what they are saying. They had a jewelry store video showing her with the suspected killer, at 2:30am.
Others: outside, held down, hurt.
Did she know the killer? Yes. Linda: teacher or someone she knew and trusted from school. Some she thought was coming to her aide. He let her use his cell phone.
How soon will they find her? within two days. This was Wed. night, it was in paper on Friday. Someone comes forward. Two people know something.
Will the killer or killers be caught? Yes, he has taken something with him.
Did he leave something behind? Yes, evidence on body. Linda: marked the body in some way, disfigured. Killer felt like she deserved what he did to her.
Has Killer done this before? Yes, to rape, Linda said she was fourth. This might be the first time he killed someone. He is charged with three previous sexual assaults.


As Vermont State Police searched the Huntington Gorge swimming hole, authorities had cordoned off at least half a block in a residential Burlington neighborhood several blocks south of where Gardner-Quinn was last seen. They were concentrating on a stately, three-story, red brick home, where there has been construction on an addition. Someone in our group had an older, red building in one of their cards.

We are watching the news, for any new information to be available. Sometimes the answers we find are not what we are hoping for. I pray for her family and friends. I feel like we found out other information around this, it is just not been validated yet, as the Police are keeping things quiet until the rest of the story is validated. I shall keep you posted......

Number 14. Temperance. This is a new deck designed by Chatriya. I love the colors, soft, sepia browns and muted colors easily understood through a reading. The deck is 'Fenestra Tarot'.
I see an Angel, this would be the Angel Micheal, our Healing Angel. He is holding 2 containers, here they appear with water/energy flowing between them. He is stepping in a pool of rose colored water. Sort of like seeing through Rose Colored Glasses. A golden crown floats behind him, with rays of light streaming through the sky. The first thing I see is the wings, earning your wings. Patience, letting the Spirit world guide you through this rough terrain here on planet earth. Calling all angels. A creature of beauty, mystery, and healing. When I get this card in a reading, I see 'waiting', and letting prayers and signs guide you. Or you could be the Angel, and your job in the situation is to be a conduit for Spiritual guidance.
Relax, you are never alone. You may have to ask, for help or whatever you need. That's ok, Ask away. Help is here. I will gladly welcome any Angelic help, anytime. I think this is sweet, after the Death card, you have this card of healing. Anytime you go through a 'letting go' or whatever life pried out of your tight fisted little hands, this Angel is right here to help you through it. Stop trying so hard to be brave and just cry. Even Jesus had his moments of sobbing, with Angels appearing to hold him as the faced what he didn't want to have to go through. And he was able to get up and walk through the test, well almost, he did fall on his face and need help to carry his own cross. Why do we think we need no help? What a joke. That's why there are angels, we need them desperately. And they are really here. Sometimes they look just like people. Sweet. Watch for one around you today. Secret Service from Spirit. Bet they could tell some stories.

The very different Osho Zen Tarot. Some days I love it, some days not. Today I am drawn to it. I am getting ready to go to stay with my Aunt Rosella for a few days, she is getting out of the hospital today. She fell in her kitchen, and has fractured her back. She taught me how to Quilt, and how to play a mean game of Scrabble. I love her.
I go back to where I grew up, with mixed feelings. So I drew 3 cards to let me know what I am in store for. And it is good. 'Consciousness' would say there is a higher reason for me to be there. 'Success' would say it will be fun and I will be very glad I did this. 'Healing', I need that. And I love seeing that card. The first hand in the picutre I see is the hand over his face, he cannot see what is happening. And the second hand is covering his yellow power center. Feeling powerless, letting go of having power over the situation. Just relax. The heart power center is in full bloom. And that is a good thing. Rather a Miracle. For me. Here is what the book says about this card of Healing...
'It is a time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed. The figure in this card is naked, vunerable, open to the loving touch of existence. The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring, and love that surrounds him is so dissolving his struggle and suffering.....In this attitude of opening, and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also be healthy and whole.'
I am taking my camera, hope to get some pictures while I am there. Great Tarot cards to get for today. I feel happy. Bye...

Ah.....the Death Card. One of the scary cards in the Tarot Deck. Or so every one believes. The Grim Reaper. Change in the air. Time to go. Breaking up is hard to do. Getting fired. Getting evicted. Getting divorce papers. Maybe losing weight, being Anorexic. Number 13, the unlucky number ( or so most believe ) which equals 4, the Emperor. Stability, Father Time, Structure. Could mean the end of stablilty as you know it. But, could mean changes for the better. Only when you let of what you are hanging onto, can you embrace the good new stuff.
Rarely does this card mean physical Death. It can, but with other dire cards that may surround it. But I really believe that it can mean a person may look Death in the eye, and make the decision then, to stay here of go. But the choice is up to them, at that time. This version of this card is 'Heads rolling.' Chop, chop. Sometimes this card just means something you are waiting on is finally here. Waiting is over. I like the one card here that has the crosses on his robe. If someone crucifies you, forgive them. Let it go. If you don't, it will destroy you. Slowly, inch by inch. The bitterness, the pain, the memories. Take the high road and forgive. Not easy, but so worth it. I try. Time to move on. Give stuff away, clean out the drawers, donate what you no longer need. Don't be afraid of this card, just look at what cards come up beside it to clarify what it is saying. A new cycle of change. Could be good news.

Number 12 in the Major Arcana is the Hanged Man. Interesting. The first thought I have, is he reminds me of Judas. A betrayer that feels remorse, so he kills himself. But I have just read the new book, 'The book of Judas', and I actually believe it. He had a reason to do what he did. And he has a story, that seems to only be heard now. Nothing is as it seems. So, how, and why, would a person be hung upside down in a tree? Did they do that to themselves? Or did someone hang them there, for punishment? Or revenge? Or to kill them? Helpless. Frustrated. Giving up. Why try, it only makes things worse.
Here is the image of the Hanged Man from the Lovers Path Deck, someone walks away. Leaves. And you really can't stop it. Sacrifice. Wait. Everything is in limbo. And the next card in the Tarot is't much better, it will be #13 Death. This is a part of life we all hate. Knowing something is over and you really can't stop it. Then, you find out the rest of the story. And everything changes. It's a time of Surrender. Relax, pray, trust Someone is in control of what you have no clue about. And it will be for a good outcome. No matter how dire it looks today. Crawl back into bed. Be easy on yourself. Cry. Write. Hide out.
Maybe while you are stuck here, look at everything from a different angle. Play the Devil's advocate. Make a game out of it. Many times what we hang onto isn't that great, and something better is just waiting for us, when we make room in our lives for it. Time to clean house. Embrace the changes. It is going into Fall. I see the leaves laying on the grass outside my window. A cycle of life. Jump into it, befriend it. Trust it. It may mean a blessing in disguise. Just call me PollyAnna. Hey, I try. I have spent my time here. And in many ways, I am still here. Waiting. Trusting. So, don't feel alone. This too, shall pass.

Justice. This can be a frightening card, if you have lived a selfish life and intentionally hurt everyone around you. Or a blessing, if you are choosing a life of love and forgiveness. Karma. What comes around, goes around. It's a fact. I think that's one of the good things about being older. You see that Justice really works. It can be going into battle, with a lawyer by your side. It can be a windfall of money, should you be the kind of person always giving to others, without asking it back. Justice see's what you are doing. She evens the score. The peacock feathers painted on her billowy sleeves remind you of the all-seeing eyes of Karma. Weighed in the balances, and found....wanting. The scriptures say. Or found blessed.
I think she can mean to be 'just ice'. Cold, ice cold. Time to stop feeling sorry for people that choose to be hateful and mean. Walk away. Give up, let someone else try to fix them. Cut the ties to anyone that pulls you down, stop casting your pearls before swine. Make a decision to be honest. Honest about what you want from life and what you are willing to do to get it. And take responsiblity for what you choose. You can have what you want, just do it the right way. Speak the truth. And live the truth.
This card is from the beautiful new Llewellyn Tarot deck by Anna-Marie Ferguson. I love it. The colors are soft, and the artwork is delicate. Very feminine. My new favorite deck. I have a new website, it is not completely finished, but should you want to peek, it is MaidenofMysteries.com Have a safe weekend, and fun!

Just thought I would do a reading on 3 cards I drew at random, tonight. These are from the 'Tarot of Reflections" by Francesco Ciampi, I love them. Watercolors, soft and dreamy. Yet detailed, and easy to understand what they are saying.
The 5 of Swords, the 6 of Cups, and the Lovers. The first thing I see is the woman, beaten up, bloody, giving up. She just doesn't have any strength in her to fight for what she thought she wanted any more. The house by the lake stands out, and the children playing. Go back to simpler times. Relax. Remember what you love, ( the Lovers ) and do that. Play with life. And stop trying so hard.
Sometimes I forget that everything I need is right here. And watching a child play, can give me hope, they are so innocent and trusting. They are real. They cry when they are afraid, they laugh when they are happy. They know how to feel. They get right back up and keep on going. After a nap. Keep it simple. I also see the arms of the Lovers reaching out, to others outside the card. Share what little you have, and it will multiply. Baby steps...I think the Swords are the words that come to me that hold me back, the fight is in my mind, and manifests outward. Change your thoughts, change your life. How true. And the Lovers, remembering what you love can be hard, sometimes everything around me changes and I change. And I have to think, what is it that would really make me happy? And it is something I am surprised by. And maybe a little afraid of. But, that's ok. Play with it, and have fun. That's why I love the Tarot, it is one of my favorite things. I think I will do something brave this week. And tell you next week what it was. Bye....

The Wheel of Fortune. Since I last posted here, my computer has
been very sick. I feel like I've been on the bottom of Lady Fortune's favorite 'top ten' list. I could go on and on. But I shall spare you. Look at the difference in the size of the man and the woman on this card. Not fair. And He is fully clothed, even wearing boots and a hat. She wears a white cloth, and a wide, festive red ribbon in her hair. Naked, confident, trusting, open. He seems to be grasping her hand, as she lifts him up, higher on the wheel. A beautiful chocloate butterfly flits over the scene. Announcing change....can be a good thing. Maybe rocky, may land off target, out in the field. May accidently land right where you want to go. She is not the enemy. She is the change that comes constantly to each of us.
I remember hearing once, that if you can learn to thrive on rejection, you have it made. I laughed, and thought, how true. I believe change is another given. We all change, I call it evolve. Or we should. Those that are stuck in the past, will never pass the tests life sends us, to help us remember who we really are. We are powerful beyond what we know. We have the ability to change our selves, change our world. I think it is true, that when God put Adam to sleep to take his rib to create Eve, he never woke them up. We are still alseep to what we can really do. And Lady Fortune, Ms. Change herself, spins the wheel to toss us into life. Ready or not.
What do you think you are here for? To keep things the same as yesterday? NO. To create, to sing, to dance. To laugh and embrace life with all it's ups and downs. Enjoy the ride.....

The Hermit. Number 9. This is the Archeon Deck by Timothy Lantz. Dark, artsy, edgy. I love them. Some days the airy, fairy decks just don't resonate with me. I want to go in this card and walk with him for awhile....

It's dark, lonely. Icy cold, snowy. A gate is closed behind him, the path feels rocky and uneven ahead of him. He has a heavy dark brown woolen blanket wrapped around him, and a dimly lit lantern to guide him. One step at a time. Looks like he has a cane, or maybe a shepherd's crook in his other arm. Not carrying much. Leaving it all behind, it wasn't what he really wanted, anyway. His head is bowed, he is tired and cold and where the hell is he going? He really doesn't know, just is letting life show him the way, as he gets there.

If we were hanging out together, what would we talk about? How nothing is as it seems. How he had it all, and none of it brought him happiness. Just stuff. Maybe Jesus was right when he said the kingdom of God is within you. Everything you really need is right here inside your heart all the time. You just need to run down all the flashy paths that tell you what you think you want to hear. Dead ends. He would be quiet, and when he does speak, it is with the sad voice of experience. Sad, because he would not listen to anyone trying to guide him, and now, no one will listen to him. Ha. Welcome to Planet Earth. When you finally do find the answer, no one wants to know, they think you're crazy. John the Baptist crazy. Maybe that's why John lived in a cave, alone, and ate locusts. Sounds pretty peaceful to me. If you act crazy enough, most people leave you alone.

He would tell me that it's only when you get alone, and quiet.....all the answers you seek, find you. Just appear, easy. Stop running around, thinking everyone else has the answers for you. You have the answer. You are the answer. If you stop chasing it, it finds you.
Contemplation...'to consider or ponder thoughtfully'. This is the Hermit from the Lovers Path Tarot by Kris Waldherr. Love it, although it is hard to shuffle, for me. He seems to be painting, writing, and has a musicial istrument there. His own quiet place to think, wow, no tv, no traffic, no other people to distract him from his thoughts. I believe everyone needs a room of their own. Just a place to hide, think, daydream. Some may think he is lonely, I think he is happy. Has found a place full of new discoveries, knowledge, ideas. Answers. Find a Hermit card from your favorite deck and keep it with you today. Some of the new little decks are fun to do this with, just keep this card around to remind you to look for him wherever you go today. He will show up......just watch.

Strength. See a common theme? All three of these Tarot Cards are wrestling with something. Something bigger than them, something that could kill them, something that is not like them, does not think like them, and something that takes courage to even go in the ring with.

Some call this card 'Force', or 'Fortitude'. I see it as something everyone faces every day, in some way. One deck designer calls this card 'Fortitude'. I see these people are not afraid to reach out and grab whatever it is that is their greatest fear. They are struggling to win, and the opponent looks like the battle could go against them at any minute. But, they are still fighting. Power Struggles. I hate power struggles, confrontation, fighting. But maybe this is all part of life. I really had no parental examples of anyone that stayed around and 'fought' to make things better. The path of least resistance was the easiest. Just leave. Let someone else worry about it.

I believe strength can be developed. Little by little. Facing just one fear at a time. Many things have happened to me that were my worst fears, ( and no, I don't believe that what you fear you draw to you, and it's your fault you are going through whatever it is that your 'Job's comforter' friends would squalk at you, you ask for this......NO). What if you had a tiny premention that this could happen to you someday. And what if you seen other people go through this same 'fear' and overcome it, even turn it around to be a blessing. Ohhhh, what a thought. What if we are all facing fears every day and we need each other to hold our hand and remind us that we are not alone. Ever. What if that is what these 'lions' are, a gift to remind us of how strong we really are, and when the fight is over, we feel so good about the whole mess, even though we dreaded every minute of it. I have a magnet on my frig, that is a picture of Eleanor Roosevelt saying...'Do one thing every day that scares you.'

So, getting transparently honest....what is it that scares me? The war. I have a son that they could draft. They say they won't do that again, but I don't trust them. I know many of my clients have children and husbands over there, God be with you. I hate war and don't believe it's the answer. Lets kill them and show them they shouldn't kill each other. What is that theory???? Crazy. Another fear...dating. Love, the kind that rocks your soul. Letting a man get close enough to me to hurt me. Am still pretty bruised from the last go round. Thanks for that, Roger.

On to this last card I am placing here for you to see. I love this one. She has the lion eating out of her hand. He is even wearing a necklace of roses. And liking it. The fence posts are adorned by roses, and no barb wire anywhere. NOthing to fear. She has faced her fear and even befriended it. Look how high up the mountain she is, she has risen above the fear and appears calm and serene. I like the red stone in her necklace, a ruby? Like the ruby red slippers Dorthy wore in the 'Wizard of Oz' movie? She had the power all the time, just didn't know it. Love that movie.
Watch what crosses your path today, and see what form your fear takes. And befriend it. And watch it purr.

The next card I am journaling about in the line up of the Major Arcana Cards, is the Chariot. Things with wheels. Things that go places. I am adding another image of the Chariot card below this writing, from the Lovers Path Deck, it is called Desire, and is the story of Tristan & Isolde. I rented the movie that just came out with the same title. How romantic. And tragic. If you get the chance to see it, do so. They were drawn to each other, could not stay away from each other, life took them miles and miles away, and yet they always found each other. Somehow.
If I were to draw this card in a reading, I would see it as....
Goals, travel, vision, focus, where are you going? And how do you plan to get there? What is it you desire more than anything, and how much are you willing to give to get it? Most of the Chariot cards show a person driving. If you are at the wheel of life, where is your life going? Are you giving someone else the power to steer your path? Or will you take responsibility for where you end up. Is there a plan, or just random, maybes, and then anger at what you have, right now, and whose fault it is for who you are, or where you are. Stop the chariot, and find the directions. Or rewrite the directions. Make your own map. Set a destination and go in that direction. The card is a number 7. 7 days in a week. Why not give yourself goals that only reach one week at a time. Or even one day at a time. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles, starts with just one step. Where do you see yourself in a week? A year? 3 years? 10 years? Or have you sadly given up and just feel powerless, just crawling in the floorboard and let someone else drive. And they will. Some days the chariot just stops, out of gas. Time to rest, fill up on fuel, and do an internal checkup. Trace back to what monkey wrench may have fallen in the gears, and remove it. And start over. And over. See you on the path.....hey, if I am broken down under a shade tree trying to fix my own chariot, would you stop and help me? Hope so...